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Messages - RWS
« on: March 01, 2014, 08:23:16 AM »
POSTAL Babe of the Month: Amber
Whoohooo!!! Hang on to your hats before you get a glimpse of our latest!!! Have we got a babe for you this month! Coming or going, no matter how you look at her, March’s Babe, Amber Grayson Vayle
is a complete knockout. There is certainly a lot of bounce in this girls step. Her sassy sweet face has a smile that would light up a room and just watching her walk away would set a guys heart racing. Take a look at Ambers amazing ink work. Don’t your fingers just itch to touch and trace all of those sleekly sensuous and artistically done lines? This little lady is brilliant as well as beautiful. With her twinkling bright eyes Amber is a delight to every one of our senses plus some.
This is a girl you just don’t want to miss. Check out the rest of Ambers great looks in our Postal Babes pages. It’s pretty much guaranteed you will enjoy the show. Don’t forget to read her comment on Krotchy in her interview. We told you before what chick magnets Krotchy dolls are. We can bet you are going to want to start ordering your very own Krotchy dolls by the crate now.
Anyway enough prattling on. It's time for the bit everyone has been waiting for: The Interview! And it is a doozy this time.RWS: Question One: Okay, Amber...why are you here?Amber: Well, I am here because you so graciously invited me to do an expose on my company. It just happens I don't mind exposing a little bit more. But mostly I was hoping I'd get a free Krotchy doll.Question Two: Okay, we can probably get you Krotchy, but seriously take a moment to tell us about your company.I have companies. That's more than one. A girl like me isn’t satisfied without a group. For some time now, I've hosted a radio show called The Naughty Slot. We talk about sex and sexuality and it's been wonderful. Sometimes it's educational,sometimes it's informative, and sometimes it's just nasty. But I have a great and loyal following there. And one of the things that happens when you have a show like that is that people who are drawn to sexual subjects end up listening and building relationships.Those relationships became the basis of my other projects.Question Three: How did you get into audiobooks?I have a sexy voice that makes girls squirm and men beat their chests. I love literature and I wanted to explore it through other media. So, after a number of erotica authors started interacting with me, I decided I ought to get started on a dream that I'd had for a very long time. Lyrical Lip Service was born. Thankfully, I have had a relationship with a publisher who also provided content to other publishers, so I didn't have to work hard to find people willing to partner with us to get books produced. They published a few erotica stories of mine and were so supportive that I knew they'd be a perfect partner. She was a contradiction in so many ways. She could write extraordinarily romantic pieces and then send me something about eleven men at a convention in a rough gangbang with a virgin. We are blessed to produce it all. Plus, I loved her attitude toward sex and toward freedom of expression. On her blog she was just as likely to review an erotica story about a wild college dorm room orgy as she was to write a blistering commentary about when Pussy Riot was imprisoned.
We all talk about liberation but the truth is it's hard to find people who live it fully. When you do find them, you hold on to them and keep them close. Here she was, this very sexualized woman--and it takes a lot for me to call a woman sexualized given how overwhelmingly sexy my life is--but she was also very intelligent. She's been married to the same man for about twenty-five years and has a whole truckload of kids. And I kept thinking that people like her were the people I wanted to work with, and when I told her my plan I got several hundred titles to record that very day. Lyrical Lip Service is the producer of audio of erotica found on Audible.com. We do a broad range of erotica and fetish short stories and full length books. So I’m proud to say LLS has grown to the largest producer on the Internet, we offer up anything one might find to tickle their fancy, among other things.Question Four: Talk more about empowering women. Most people wouldn't think of gangbang stories as empowering.Maybe, but Joe Lieberman once said that your video game (Along with Marilyn Manson and Calvin Klein, oddly enough) was the worst thing in American society. Most people want to pigeonhole everyone else. It's easier to feel comfortable when everyone fits in a nice little package. They smile indulgently when we read a Harlequin romance book and they raise an eyebrow and shake their head a bit but are still indulgent when we read something a little racier. As long as they can dismiss it as silly womanliness everything is fine.Our erotica audiobooks are all about the freedom to explore your sexuality. This may shock some of my fans but if I were suddenly confronted by nine cocks at a party, each of them with their own Krotchy hanging down there, I wouldn't do what a woman in an erotica story would do. I'd probably run screaming from the room.
That doesn't mean it isn't entertaining and stimulating to read about it. That doesn't mean that my mind won't sometimes head that direction. People fantasize about all sorts of things. When children pretend they’re airline pilots or cowboys and cowgirls we call it imagination. When a man does it in regards to sex we call it being male. When a woman fantasizes we call it offensive and degrading.
Well, fuck no. I don't buy into that
I have twelve vocal talent professionals working for me. Eight of them are women. All but three had absolutely no experience before we started. Several are stay-at-home moms who wouldn't easily be able to do anything for money otherwise.
Erotica, even the most extreme erotica, allows a woman to safely explore sexual fantasies without any of the risk. And as far as I'm concerned, it takes back the power denied us for so long, the power to be both female and sexual. It says “I'm a woman but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy sex”. It doesn't mean I can't want sex. My genitalia isn't there just to please someone else. So much modern feminism wants us to be bitchy, prudish, and unconcerned with sex or love. They would value me as the woman business owner and curse my talent for being stay-at-home mothers. And of course, since we glorify sex, they’d curse us for that as well.
So it's exciting to me because I not only get to be a small businesswoman, and I not only get to be successful at it--all the things we modern women are supposed to do--but I get to do it with a primary focus on a subject denied women for far too long.
Question Five: So Tell Us about Your Other ProjectsYou do realize most of the things you're calling questions are really commands, or for the literary people out there, imperative sentences, right?
No matter. I created Abyss Audiobooks in response to a crackdown of major retailers on certain types of erotica. While a great many of the more extreme things don't turn me on at all and while I would never participate in something that involved depiction of sex with minors, I was really taken aback by some of the things that caused controversy. Like for example, books were pulled because of the words "barely legal" in the subtitles. Look, the point with barely legal is that the girls involved ARE legal It's something a lot of women search for, especially older women who didn't necessarily go to college in the midst of the kind of sexualized environments we have today.
The retailers also hated the word "force." We can understand reactions against violence and such but really, people have to come to terms with the fact that just about every survey done about women's favorite sexual fantasies puts non-consent at the top of the list. It’s been at the top since the surveys were first done. What got me, though, was that books were pulled when force wasn't even in relation to the sex. A sentence like "Her financial situation forced her to make a choice" in the description would lead to a book being pulled from the sites. It was just crazy. Pure reactionary stupidity, if you ask me.
It all started because of the sites’ poor technology, too. Someone would search for an innocuous term and children's books would show up next to erotica. I refuse to believe search engine technology can't tell the difference between Horton Hears a Who and Whores from Horton Town. So we filled a need with Abyss, and will be open for self-publishing uploads shortly. So when someone is looking for some reading that is perhaps a little more edgy in terms of erotica and sexual nature, my new company / website Abyss is the place to find it. Like Lyrical Lip Service production, it is growing quickly in our offerings and will continue to do so over.
There's a reason it will be self-publishing. I don't want to be the arbiter of what's acceptable. I wanted to create a site where the boundaries were considerably wider. I'm not saying we won't come across some titles at some point we won't want on our site but for right now, it's intended to give authors who write horrific and extreme erotica or other books a venue. Interestingly, it looks like we're going to have a hell of a lot of erotica ebooks on Abyss that the other sites would have no problem with at all.
Question Six: Okay, Amber. You're a beacon to all women who want to succeed, a champion of free expression, and a friend to independent artists. When you put all that together with your ass, you're pretty much the perfect woman. And I have the pictures to prove it now. Tell me about this awesome photo shoot.
Well, it was inspired by Postal, believe it or not. I was thinking about Postal Dude driving around causing mayhem and wondered what it would be like if I were there in the game in a sexy shoot and he came by and defended me from all of the crazy, mentally disturbed citizens.
Wow! Really?Of course not! I'm a girl, not a teenage boy. What really happened is that a very good friend of mine, the brilliant Brian D. Byers, wanted to do a photo shoot and I couldn't imagine anything better. It was so damned cold I almost froze my ass--yes, the ass you seem to admire so much--off. The title of the shoot was "Be Brave", though, so I powered through it.
It was a very exciting and strangely empowering thing to do. There was no makeup and no hairdresser. Brian wasn't making me into someone. I had to be me, and I had to be comfortable with who I was. Let me tell you something...that's bravery. A woman is exposed for the world to see and she doesn't get to dress herself up. I was completely, utterly, naked.
(That's a metaphor, pal. I wasn't actually nude.)
But that's part of what we believe. We want women to stand strongly, to feel good about themselves, to view their bodies as beautiful no matter how they look. To realize that their bodies don't define them and aren't something they should fear. They ought not to feel shame about it. We're women and we're just as much sexual beings as we are emotional beings and intellectual beings. It ism time to stop feeling ashamed about that. And that's why I did the photo shoot. I can't tell my employees, my friends, and the world that we don't have to be ashamed and then let the trap suck me in,right? By the way an author has found some inspiration in that photoshoot and may very well be the impetus for a full length book, encompassing all sort of inspired naughtiness. Of course, you’ll find it on Abyss.
Besides, we wanted a sexy stock photo company, and I knew right away that I had to be the first model. Look, I'm a businesswoman. I'm in this to make money,sure. But I also believe the stuff I say. I want women empowered, and it's wrong of me to tell others to stretch themselves if I won't. So that's that.
Well there you have it. Thanks, Amber, for taking the time. Do you really want a Krotchy doll?If you don't give me one, I might have to hijack a truck full. I hear they're selling well on eBay.
See what we mean? She is threatening us to make sure she gets her Krotchy Doll! That just proves how much chicks love them and will do just about anything to get one! Don't miss out guys. Get yours today!
« on: February 24, 2014, 05:56:46 PM »
Fan Spotlight: Lego
As amazing as it seems, you know what’s hot in the box office right now is “The Lego Movie”. Lego was one of my favourite toys while I was growing up and I guess we are never very far away from our childhood. We are either in it, leaving it, thinking about it or entering our second one. You have to wonder though...where did Warner Bros. and their writers ever get the idea for a movie staring Lego figures, blocks and buildings etc. I have not seen the movie myself but I understand it is about an ordinary dude, just an average guy, quietly going about his business who gets roped in to something he really didn’t ask to be part of. Hmmm, that part sounds a little familiar somehow.
A world created and peopled by Lego figures also seems more than bit unusual. Could it be possible that the makers of The Lego Movie were inspired by the absolutely brilliant Lego work created circa 2006/2007 by some of our very own fans. The Lego gone POSTAL Movie bits are well made, outrageously funny and something that we think our fans would actually enjoy and get a real laugh out of watching. We are including the links below to our fan-made movies for those of you who may have missed them or would like to re-watch them. If they encourage you to make your own movies, feel free to send them on to us and we might even showcase them for you.
In any case, Running With Scissors is always pleased to know what a positive impact we may have on multiple forms of media. It makes us feel very good to know that we just might have motivated Hollywood to make movies based on a format that RWS and our loyal, trusted and talented fans may have helped to inspire. We don’t really mind being imitated, however, a lot of hard work went into making our games and our fan movies. It would be nice if we were occasionally given some credit for the ideas and inspiration borrowed from the POSTAL collection. RWS and its fans know that something as totally awesome as our POSTAL games are bound to be copied and imitated sooner or later even if nobody wants to admit it. We have learned that it’s far better to simply sit back, nod our heads in recognition and enjoy the show.
« on: February 17, 2014, 09:29:06 AM »
Coming to a reddit near you
Edit: Thanks all who turned up. Hope you all enjoyed it as much as we did!
Today's the day you have been eagerly waiting for, the day we tread the waters of reddit and do our AMA session
. Click here to join
And the rest of the gang on reddit today!
This is just a reminder that tomorrow (Tuesday February 18th, 2014) we will be on the front page of the Internet. Our Reddit AMA session will begin at NOON MST and end when it gets boring or until we have to go do something else either real or made up just to not hurt your feelings too much that we are making a fast escape. When the session starts this post will be updated to contain a link to the AMA. Bring your questions and we will try to either answer them if we can or at least make up something for you that sounds sort of legitimate. Bring your amusing RWS/POSTAL anecdotes and we will do our best to listen to them. We hope to see you there.
« on: February 15, 2014, 08:23:00 AM »
Indie Spotlight: Starbound
I first decided to give Starbound a try when a friend of mine sold a rare DOTA 2 item to get it for himself. I decided that it looked kind of interesting so I got a copy of my own and proceeded to give it a try.
Space: The Final Frontier…. These are the voyages of the Glitch ship Dented Prize…
There is a good variety of races
to select from but other than looks, they are all pretty much the same for now. Ships hold to the same basic design but have a few racial flares tossed in to make them stand out from each other. For fun, you can decorate the inside of your ship with various things you
….err… borrow from the inhabitants of the planets you beam down to, or with items you make yourself. I feel now is a good time to mention Starbound is in Early Access and isn’t really a finished game yet. Reading the Chucklefish forums and the Starbound Wiki, one learns there are plans to give each race their own special ability. My Glitch for example would be able to mine faster, a rather handy skill. There are a few other things that would make sense for racial skills as well. Glitch, being a robot type character should function better in a cold, snowy biome due to better cooling. In contrast, it should work poorly in a hot magma/volcanic biome but that is just my two pixels (game currency) worth. Right now it is the same for all characters. If it is cold you freeze to death if you don’t keep a heat source in range. Nothing much happens in a too hot environment other than you melt pretty fast if you touch lava.
Speaking of environments there are plenty to choose from. Take a http://starbound.wikia.com/wiki/Biomes
]look here[/url] at all the ones that are implemented. Some of them you need special equipment just to survive on… learned that the hard way since I was running on fumes when I arrived at the moon. Probably the most annoying and most fun biome I have been to so far is the Asteroid Biome, basically leap of faith around to the next asteroid, mining what you need and move on. Using special abilities such as dashing or double jumping before impact, you can help mitigate the damage, but otherwise gravity is just as much your enemy here as it is in any biome. Fall too far and you die on impact. During your exploration of each biome (other than asteroid field) you have a choice to either explore the surface or dig your way down hunting hidden chambers. Exploring the surface leads to learning about the day/night cycle of the planet. During the day there are monsters that generally want to kill you, but at night there are even more monsters that are even more determined you will die. Enemies increase with strength at night. On the surface there also tends to be at least one settlement for one of the game’s races. They can sometimes be friendly assuming you are not holding a weapon, although sometimes they just want you gone. Looting these settlements yields random items and pixels which can be useful, but you can also make your ship and base look pretty cool if you decide to steal the decorations while you are at it.
Now that I have decent armor, a cool looking ship, a really good weapon, it is time to really explore the Galaxy. Let me just input the co-ordinates and…..
Goodbye my friend Glitch 1.0, you will be missed. As with any games that are in Early Access things happen that wouldn’t happen in a full retail release. I actually knew it was coming since the people at Chucklefish were nice enough to tell us the end is nigh, but still it hurt a little to see my original character die… however Character Wipes are supposed to be a thing of the past now. Every cloud has a silver lining, losing my single player character led me to invite my friend to join me in my journey among the stars. Enter Glitch 2.0!
To start a multiplayer game you have to do one of two things. Have one person host a server, or to join one of the preexisting servers. If you need help, here is a rather useful guide
. Having experienced a public Minecraft server before, I decided to run my own server, and invited my friend to join via IP. Once invited to my group he was able to beam to my ship and join me on my adventure. One thing to note is that even though each player has a ship, you really only need one. You can save a lot of fuel by sharing the ship at the start of the game. You can always beam to the other ship at any given time even if it is parked in a galaxy far, far away…. which would be useful if you foolishly ran yourself out of fuel above an inhospitable world…. but I digress.
Mutliplayer unsurprisingly plays the same as single player. You are able to share all crafting equipment so it saves you time in that regard, however, you both need resources to fabricate your upgrades. It might take a bit longer to find all the ore needed for that but the extra exploration for resources often leads to the discovery of hidden things. Secret underground lairs, random junk chests that often include weapons with special abilities and the all coveted tech chests that give you special abilities such as Energy Dash…. it’s a bit of a free-for-all for those.
Since the game is still Early Access, the quest system isn't finished yet. Once you complete the tutorial quests, the game leaves you to your own devices. I created everything I could think of during my single player game and visited several planets as I worked towards making the distress beacon (last step of the tutorial) but never actually got that far before the wipe. With my friend’s help I quickly caught up to where I was and learned a few new tricks and shortcuts. Time to build and activate the Distress Beacon… enter the first boss fight.
Boss fights in the game are currently a bit difficult. The first boss I was able to defeat without using much strategy, just shoot it until it dies, but that lulled me in to the false sense that bosses are just large high HP monsters. After upgrading all our gear my friend made a rather weird looking structure before we fought the next boss. The structure offered shelter from the boss for the most part, which was incredibly useful since it hit hard. We used this same strategy for each of the remaining bosses, reformatting the structure as needed until we ran out of bosses. It actually felt kind of ignoble to hide inside but setting foot outside of it meant taking heavy damage.
We eventually made it to X Sector where the game rules change a little. Before I go into detail I will go back and explain the Starmap. You start out in the Alpha sector. After beating each boss you get an item necessary to craft whatever you need to travel to the next sector. You can either choose to remain in the same sector and explore, or move on to the next sector to get better ores. I find it sad that you really only need to visit one planet per sector to move on… so many interesting worlds left unvisited. Sector X fixes this issue however. Now each planet has a difficulty level. Accidentally visiting a level 10 planet without the proper armor and weapons will lead to a very short stay… so hopefully you have the fuel to get out of there. Right now the game lacks any kind of end-game content other than the aforementioned planet difficulty levels. While I am sure some gamers will really enjoy visiting each level of planet and making their gear a little stronger so they can ascend to the next level, I am starting to feel this as bit of a grind. My attention is waning and I am losing motivation to continue my Glitch’s adventure for now. I feel that way about most MMOs too so don’t let that sway you, I am actually much more inclined to roll a new character of a different race just to see the racial weapons and armors for it first-hand. I’m sure in time end-game will be expanded and I am also sure the quest system will add a lot of extra fun to the game once it is implemented.
In summary, if you like games that let you shape the world around you, that you can make everything you need by hand and enjoy looking for adventures, you should definitely check out Starbound. I’d buy it from their Humble Store
rather than through Steam
itself because that way you give better support to the games development and you get the bonus of a sound track download to go along with it.
In Starbound, you take on the role of a character who’s just fled from their home planet, only to crash-land on another. From there you’ll embark on a quest to survive, discover, explore and fight your way across an infinite universe.
You’ll encounter procedurally generated creatures and weapons, discover populated villages and abandoned temples. Explore planets dotted with dungeons, eyeball trees and treasure. Make use of over a hundred materials and over one thousand in-game objects to build a sprawling modern metropolis or a sleepy secluded cabin in the woods, and do all of it alone or with friends!
Starbound lets you live out your own story of space exploration, discovery and adventure. Settle down and farm the land, hop from planet to planet claiming resources, or make regular visits to populated settlements, taking on jobs and earning a living. NPCs are scattered about the worlds, offering quests and challenges for those looking for a little extra excitement in their lives.
6 playable races
A procedurally generated universe with unlimited procedurally generated planets
All content available in online drop in/drop out co-op
Generated dungeons full of unique enemies
Randomly generated monsters
Thousands of items
A deep crafting system
Own and decorate your own Starship
Develop your own home planet
Menacing boss battles
Procedurally generated guns and melee weapons
Farming, hunting and survival mechanics
Built from the ground up to support modding
Ongoing free updates
What will you find?
« on: February 14, 2014, 07:37:41 AM »
A Valentine for the Ladies
As rude, crude or ungrateful men, we all know that the love, compassion and understanding showered on us by the fairer sex is completely undeserved. We would like to make up for our self-serving transgressions with this Valentine tribute to our long suffering, humble and uncomplaining ladies. To that end we have described a day in the life of the Dudes better half. We imagine it is similar to what many of you fine specimens of uncompromising womanhood are going through too. We want to show you that we really do appreciate that you put up with our slovenly and thoughtless behaviour and how we marvel that you still manage to remain sweet and tender-hearted through it all.
The Dudes Wife otherwise affectionately known as the Bitch!My, my. There are some mighty fine looking men around here. Every one of them looks like they have a lot more going for them than that no good layabout husband of mine. I bet they have a lot more stamina than he could ever produce too.
Bored to tears by her inactivity, despondent about her miserable go nowhere life and angered and disgusted that she lived in an old run down trailer, the Dude’s wife spent her days sucking back tubs of Rocky Road ice-cream and dreaming of better times. Somebody as classy and fabulous looking as her deserved more than being stuck in a worn out tin box called a mobile home. Mobile! Hah! That place just like her no account husband was sure going nowhere fast! Now the louse had the nerve to come home and tell her he‘s on sabbatical! She knows darn well he got canned again! The only reason they moved into this worn out tin can was for that job! Just what’s a girl to do? Rivulets of sweat ran down between her melon sized breasts as she fanned herself with her latest romance magazine and thought to herself “damned air-conditioning isn’t even working”
and “he’s useless, just useless, can’t even buy a new AC or at least fix the old one”
The problem was the man just does not listen. She has been more than helpful giving him advice and direction on how he could get ahead and make a little something of himself. She had sweetly reminded him over and over again about the things he should and shouldn’t do but typical man, he just never seemed to understand or remember things. Just doesn’t matter if she gently reminded him till she lost her voice and her throat got sore. He was too stupid to understand how important what she told him to do really was. Why sometimes his eyes actually seemed to glaze over and he acted like he didn’t even hear her at all. That dog of his was just about as bad as him too. Eating its fool head off and doing nothing useful except lazing about and leaving its loads all over the place. Those two really were a pair, making one mess after another and expecting her to clean it up. Sometimes it was just unbearable what a poor and helpless woman had to put up with.
The most important thing right now is what are they going to do for money. The rent is over- due and she is on her last tub of rocky road. She has a few things up for sale on e-bay but so far not too many hits. That Gary Coleman autograph should bring in a pile and she can think of at least one more way someone as charming and bodacious as her can make some fast cash, might even be fun. Just wait till he gets back home, he better come in saying he got what I sent him for and finished the piddling few chores I gave him and most importantly of all, that he found a new job. He is really going to be in for it if nothings done. He is going to get what for and there is just going to be hell to pay if he’s goofed off one more time…no good do- nothing that he is…He just doesn’t deserve someone as kind and wonderful and understanding as her…
See dear and gentle women, we do understand your hardship and we thank you on this special day for your never ending support and patience with us poor and misguided souls.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY LADIESDon't forget to join some of the RWS Gang on Reddit on Tuesday February 18th at Noon MST.
« on: February 09, 2014, 12:46:45 PM »
For This Week Only POSTAL 2 is 75% Off!
We figured what better way to celebrate Patch 1413
and to thank our fans for their unwavering support than by having a week long Steam sale! For your convenience, from 1:00 PM Eastern Monday February 10th, 2014 to 12:59:59 PM Monday February 17th you can purchase POSTAL 2 for 75% off
. The game is practically being given away at that low price. So you have a really old copy of POSTAL 2. Maybe you have been debating getting in to the modern times by picking up POSTAL 2 on Steam in order to get all those lovely cards and hard earned achievements. Well now is the time to do it. Did you pirate a copy of POSTAL 2 and are starting to feel bad about it because RWS is showing so much love for it's fans by releasing not 1 but 2 major content patches for POSTAL 2... well now is the time to come clean, confess your sins, cough up that overdue payment for the game you know you have been enjoying by purchasing a legitimate copy for yourself. We've said it before and we said it again, show your friends just how much you care about them and how generous you are by picking up the four pack and sharing the extra copies with them. You know there are a lot more than just one way to enjoy playing POSTAL 2...contests with your friend to see who could finish the game faster, kill more people or competing in other interesting things you could dream up. You could even make videos of the wacky and fun things you can do in POSTAL 2. Maybe something set to the finale of the William Tell Overture that could be fun!
That's not the only sale though, don't forget about the Valentines Day $10 t-shirt and $8 Krotchy sale
on now at our store. It's not too late to get yours today!
« on: February 08, 2014, 03:36:58 AM »
Another Massive POSTAL 2 Update
December, Friday the 13th was a lucky day for POSTAL fans across the world when RWS released the 1412 patch of awesomeness to update our ten year old flagship game, totally for free!
Well, as you guys liked it so much we thought what the hell, have some more! Also totally for free. RWS is the development house that just keeps giving. Now with 95% less bugs than 1412 patch thanks to our expanded and dedicated team of QA testers from the http://facepunch.com/
forms. Thanks guys!
Now the bulk of the games features have been updated, our next priority is to get all these things to Linux and Mac on Steam, and also to the DRM free platforms such as GoG.com.
These are the highlights of the new update, not including smaller fixes and new Easter Egg features:Patch 1413New Features and improvements
-The amount of vocal variety has been massively increased, including race specific dialog. 5 new voice classes in total! Also adds more situational dialog for NPC's such as seeing cats, and being on fire. There are even a few more Dude lines now too.
-Added a few new variations to character pawns (example: pot bellies, shorter females, etc)
-As well as doors, the game now remembers which windows and bottles have been smashed when going though load zones and returning to a previous area.
-MP5's are more damaging, semi-auto mode more accurate
-Firing mode for Glock and MP5 are now displayed on the hud
-Dynamite has a larger radius and more damage
-Can now instakill bystanders with a bali to the back to make the weapon more useful (Tougher enemies like cops are not susceptible to this trick)
-Shovel Alt-Fire has a chance to sever limbs in much the same way the regular fire has a chance of decapitating.
-Speed Run ranking separated from regular ranking in stats
-Stats now display a flag if you speedrun a game without quitting
-Display current difficulty on stats screen.
-Gasoline trails light on fire easier, and also if an NPC or player run over a trail while they are on file it will ignite it.
-Updated Police and security car model
-Flying Sledge now destroys doors
-Radars now detect cows
-Fluid Lifetime Slider added, allows lengthening or shortening lifespan of gas, urine, blood trails (set it to 11 for near-infinite lifetime)
-Launcher now updated to include performance options
-You can now delete saved games by right-clicking on them in the save/load menu. (You will be asked for confirmation first.)New Features and improvements (Enhanced game only)
-Awesome new zipper functionality! Just you wait to play around with it
-Added flying shovel, you can now use the shovel to fly around the maps if you swing when already airborn. Try it, it's fun!
-Added Hands (pick up and throw objects with Fire and AltFire when not holding a weapon)
-Increased the variety of cat-grenades for the Grenade Launcher
-Alt-fire will spam matches when holding the match box
-New features for Machete, Scythe, Sledge and Machine Gun
-Ammo cap raised to 9999
-Scissors shoot faster and you also run faster when holding them
-Added alt-fire to Shotgun in Enhanced Game. It shoots slow-moving explosive projectilesBug fixes (both modes)
-100's of map related fixes to address missing collisions, rendering issues, various visual issues such as terrain clipping in the wrong place, lots of 'out of world' bugs addressed, ect ect
-Mike J now acts as you would expect him to when he's being pissed on
-Fix for collision on the explodeable cars, you can no longer walk though the hood ect
-Massive context sensitive performance fixes some areas when going on a rampage and blowing up cars.
-Fix for alpha of the in game map to remove the black boarder
-Fix for the game restarting on an earlier day when passing though load zones when too many doors are smashed
-Wanted level will now correctly decreases in Liebermode
-Resolved an issue that could cause NPC's to go running into walls
-Fix for non-ragdolled bodies blocking the player with cylinder collision.
-Fix for achievement menu on low resolutions
-Cheats reset to 'off' when starting a new game
-Fix for being able to gib Phraud Hogslop's head and him still living
-Fix for a rare bug where the petition wouldn't get signed, even if the NPC agreed to sign it
-Fix for cow head buzzing not going away sometimes when changing weapons.
-Fix for cashiers holding heavy bags
-Fix for cops repeating same lines when the dude-dressed-as-cop is attacking bystanders
-Fix for a bug where you could force the elevator in MilitaryBase3 to get stuck
-Fix for pawns not displaying facial expressions properly
-Fix for ammo oddity with weapons that share ammo
-Fix for bystanders moonwalking when hit with Bali, anthrax, or WMD
-Fix for cops attacking each other while you're in disguise
-Fix for Some cases of incorrect stat recording
-Fix for Some 'dude kill' false positives to make getting a Jesus run fairer
-Fix for a bug where the Fog Slider preferences would not update properly when Infinite Visibility was turned off
-Fix for a bug causing the Machete to disappear from the Dude's hands forever when thrown
-Fix for a bug causing pickups and cats to respawn when going back to a previously-visited level
-Added mipmaps to almost every texture that was missing them, such as the sledge hammer.
-Fix for a bug which caused some NPC's to go into a default T shape when dying while in the air
-Fix for an issue where spawned-in police would arrest the Dude while in uniform. Now they just run up to him and investigate the area instead
« on: February 03, 2014, 12:09:03 PM »
Valentines Day Sale
It’s almost here, that most romantic of days. Hey Guys, want to really impress that favourite girl of yours, or ladies want to catch the attention of that special someone? As an early Valentines gift to you we are putting on an especially great sale of our POSTAL T-Shirts and loveably squishy Krotchy dolls. For a limited time only all shirts are just $10 each! Krotchy is only $8!
It’s amazing what a thrill both of you may end up getting when you present her with her very own Krotchy doll on Valentines Day1
It’s a well known fact that girls are crazy for Krotchy.
One of our pretty pink T’s or sexy Racerback T’s to go along with a Krotchy would be the icing on the cake2.
While you’re at it, you might as well throw in a T-Shirt or two for yourself in your favourite colors. You can’t go wrong at these low, low prices.
Girls, why not get in on the deal too. Get a Krotchy doll for your favourite guy (you can always steal it back for yourself later). You know how good he looks in a POSTAL T-Shirt so at these prices get him one or two in his favourite colors. Why not also buy yourself one in a nice contrasting color and show the world you’re an unbeatable pair.
If you are sadly all alone on Valentines Day don’t despair. Putting on a nice new POSTAL T-Shirt and carrying a Krotchy companion may put a spring in your step and help get your spirits up. You never know, some romantic stranger3
just might just come along and want to have a closer look. Anything could happen. Krotchy is after all the perfect ice-breaker.
While you are shopping at our store why not check out these other items too!
Don’t miss out on these first-rate deals. At these low prices merchandise sells out quickly so don’t be disappointed, act swiftly and order fast before everything is gone. 1 Thrills not guaranteed
2 Cake not guaranteed
3 Romantic stranger not guaranteed
« on: January 26, 2014, 01:07:02 PM »
Going Straight to Purgatory
Running With Scissors likes to show its team spirit by helping to sponsor some great causes. We realise nothing makes a bunch of high spirited hard working people stronger or gives them more inspiration than wearing T-shirts validating their favourite video game. There is no doubt in our mind just by looking at these happy individuals all dressed in their new uniform T’s that they are now set to be winners. There is a double bonus to proudly wearing our T’s as a group but we feel it’s only fair to warn you in case you didn't already know. Besides being winners, it’s a well known fact that citizens in uniform are like magnets to the opposite sex. Be advised, you must proceed with caution when approaching others while wearing your RWS finery. You never know what’s going to happen when you are spotted looking so good and we just can’t be responsible for the reaction and attention you may receive from the others.Want to get your own RWS t-shirts? Head to our store!
You don't need to just take our word for the it though, just take a look at these results:
They have just put on their t-shirts. Such high team spirt. They are sure to help each other become the best they can be.
Errr....or perhaps they might start going a bit POSTAL*
Some girls go head over heels for RWS t-shirts*RWS would like to point out they were likely POSTAL before they put on the t-shirts. The t-shirts, RWS and/or POSTAL have not had any negative influence at all.
« on: January 21, 2014, 04:02:53 PM »
To Pee or Not to Pee, that is the Question… with apologies to Shakespeare
To pee, or not to pee, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler for the body to suffer
The burning flames of outrageous napalms,
Or to take a wizz against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them or to fry, to lose it all; and by lose it all is to say we drop
The Hard collected items, and have to endure the thousand Natural shocks
of the homes we need to invade again? 'Tis a conundrum
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to pee,
To pee, perchance to extinguish; Aye, there's the rub,
For in that pee of life, what horrors may come,
When we have unzipped and let off this mortal wizz,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of condemnation,
The Oppressor's wrong, the proud man's Contumely,
The pangs of despised Action, the Law’s delay,
The insolence of Office, and the Spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his Quietus make
With an unzipped fly? Who would bare,
To grunt and sweat under a blazing fire,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered gas can, from whose burn
No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than pee on others that we know not of.
Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,
And thus the Native hue of Resolution
Is sicklied o'er, with the pale cast of Thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
With this regard their Currents turn awry,
And lose the name of Action. Soft you now,
The fair New Zealand? Nymph, in thy Orisons
Be all my sins remembered
Alas, poor New Zealand Gamers! We knew you well: Dude a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent imagination: he has carried you on his back a thousand plays; and now, how abhorred by your Government he is! I don’t know how many times we played the games that used to be right there on Steam. Dude, where are your games now? Your videos? Your songs? Your flashes of wit that used to set the whole live streams laughing? You can’t make anybody smile now. Are you sad about that? You need to go to that Government's chambers and tell them that no matter how many restrictions they slather on, changes will come some day. That’ll make them laugh.
The ban on our favourite game was bad enough but the consequences for even owning a copy carried in my humble opinion, the most ridiculous and overblown of punishments. Would you believe that if you get caught with a copy of Postal 2 in New Zealand, you could be fined NZ$2,000 ($1,400). Supplying, distributing, displaying or advertising could actually get you a year in the slammer and a fine of NZ$20,000 ($14,000. Larger incorporated distributers and retailers were hit worse with fines up to NZ$50,000 ($38,000)). The reason given for these hefty mind boggling fines was that after a year of study, they found the game contained too much gory violence and public humiliation (urinating on people). It seems to me like somebody was really enjoying playing the game since it took them an entire year to investigate it. I wonder just how many gamers they had studying it. Was it some worn out old guy sitting in a corner playing away who didn’t really understand the game and apparently didn’t like people being peed on, or was it a whole assortment of hardcore video gamers doing the testing? I somehow doubt it was the latter or I’m pretty sure everybody in NZ would have had a chance to enjoy playing POSTAL 2 by now.
There is also another unfortunate consequence to the game being banned. I would suppose it means we should put it in the terms that New Zealanders are excluded from our contests and give-a-ways. That is after all a form of displaying or advertising. It seems very unfair to the video gamers of NZ but we want to act responsibly. If winning one of our t-shirts could be blamed for causing a gamer to go out and cause mayhem or mass destruction then I guess it is better to exclude them. God only knows what they would do if they got their hands on a Krotchy doll.
All kidding aside, the Office of Film and Literature Classification in New Zealand allows extreme violence, murder and gore in such movies as Lord of the Rings. This trilogy which has unfortunate beings chopped, slashed or stomped to bits was filmed entirely in New Zealand. It makes it kind of hard to believe that after not only accepting but allowing the production of movies like that, a little yellow stream horrified the OFLC to the point where it had to be banned and criminalized!!!! Those of us who enjoy playing POSTAL 2 know that urine never actually has to be used during the game (or at least not much), it just adds to the interest and you have to admit (so long as it’s not happening to you), it’s downright funny!
Now for those of you who think we should not have not sullied someone so highly revered as Shakespeare by associating him with POSTAL we would just like to draw your attention to Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus.... now which of us is truly so inexcusably violent and evil? Anyone for pie?
« on: January 17, 2014, 08:11:35 PM »
New POSTAL Babe: Foxy Roxy
Our bevy of beautiful POSTAL Babes is growing. We have a fresh new face joining our group of luscious ladies. Roxy, our Babe of the Month, is a cheeky lass from Texas. Her glowing eyes play peek-a-boo from behind a cascade of shining dark hair and her playfully sweet smile would bring a grown man to his knees. For those of you who appreciate ink, Roxy has very intricate and well done artwork complimenting her left side and the back of her right shoulder. Her waist is so tiny, it would be tempting to see if you could span it with just one hand. If you would like to see more (a lot more) of Roxy, don’t forget to check out our POSTAL Babe page.
Now it is time for the exciting part that everyone looks forward to most of all when we bring in a new babe... The Interview!
1. Let’s start by you telling us a little or a lot about yourself. How old are you and where are you from? Roxy: I'm 22 from Texas
2. How did you first learn about the Postal Babes? And how does it feel to be chosen? Roxy: From a friend and it feels exciting def a confidence boost
3. Ok let’s get personal. What type music do you listen to? Roxy: Country music
4. What’s your astro sign? Roxy: Gemini
5. Are you a gamer? And what’s your favorite game (doesn’t have to be a video game) ? Roxy: Nope not to much into games
6. How old were you when you lost your virginity? Please tell us about it. Roxy: I was 14 it was in my parents house while they were home.
7. What’s your favorite color? Do certain colors make you hot? Roxy: Green is my favorite color
8. Tell us about your modeling and acting career. What is your motivation? What do you like most about it? Roxy: I just like to have fun with it.
9. I’m sure a lot of our male fans would love to know what gets you hot. Please feel free to open up and share your desires with Postal fans around the world.Roxy: Depends on the situation
10. What type of guys do you like? And If you like women too, please answer for both. Roxy: Good ole country boys
Now please choose ONE answer that best describes who you are!
1. Oral or Anal: Roxy: oral
2. Ink or no Ink: Roxy: ink
3. Black or White: Roxy: both
4. Money or Love: Roxy: love
5. Teacher or Student: Roxy: teacher
6. Men or Women: Roxy: men
7. Fly or Drive: Roxy: drive
8. Prayer or Sin: Roxy: sin
9. Music or Games: Roxy: music
10. Liberal or Conservative: Roxy: neither
Check out the rest of her gallery by clicking her image!
« on: January 15, 2014, 07:09:43 PM »
Plenty of Piss and Gasoline to Go Around
Here is a review we think all of our loyal fans will really enjoy watching. It has more or less captured the very essence and meaning of the collection of POSTAL games. You will likely find yourself nodding in agreement with many of the opinions expressed by these two quite obviously long term fans.
We could perhaps help out by noting all the great points they make or by agreeing with a lot of what they have to say, but we think that is completely unnecessary. These guys did such a good job in their video that we think it is better to let it speak for itself. Enjoy!
« on: January 10, 2014, 06:48:19 PM »
Summer is Coming*
Hey Ladies! Ever wanted to be a POSTAL Babe, but just can't find the time to come for a photo session? Well now you can show everybody you are a POSTAL Babe anyway. Throw on our brand new sexy Racerback shirt and you'll soon have some eyeballs poppin' and steam comin' out of your favorite guys ears!
Guys, now you can live the dream of dating a POSTAL Babe. Pick up the Racerback shirt for that special someone in your life and just wait for her to show her appreciation for your thoughtfulness or if you are a player, buy several for all your special someones.
Ladies, you think the charcoal t-shirt is great but the color is a little too manly for your taste? Well now you can sashay around in deep blushing Pink! Don't forget to carry a big stick though. Somebody that looks that good is going to have to beat off the hounds!
Hey guys you know in some countries pink is actually a guy's color too, so if you want a pink one for yourself, we won't judge you!
Hey guys, getting jealous that the girls can get themselves nice new pink shirts? Well be jealous no longer, and show your pride by wearing our all-new Purple t-shirt! Be careful though. Your gal is going to run off with it first chance she gets so maybe better buy two to start with.
For those of you who were a little put out by the POSTAL 2 new content patch and prefer the classic style, well the Classic Charcoal shirt is back in stock too!
No crowding or rushing now please. There is something for everyone! Click on an image to be taken to the store
.*Depending on where you live and when you are reading this, Summer may already be here! Better order soon or you may be left standing out in the cold!
« on: January 07, 2014, 10:04:30 PM »
POSTAL 2 HAS DONE IT YET AGAIN!
Running With Scissors is overjoyed to announce, and does so with a proud catch in our throat and a tear in our eye, that we have won the much coveted and sought after “Best Game That Was Released in 2003 But Later Updated in 2013 Award.” We were up against some very heavy competition in the form of Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. It was only our ability to play fetch with severed heads that gave us the final push out front. “Way to go Champ! Good ole dog!”
We feel a bit perturbed and slightly embarrassed that we have never before heard of such a highly creditable and well sponsored event that presented us with this unexpected yet awesome award. The Pimp Daddy Love Muffin Annual Game of Award Thing Show Explosion (GOATSE) Spectacular claims to have just completed its fifteenth season so how could we have missed it?
Running With Scissors is so very honored by this award that we have decided to make a special announcement*. We are going to put forth superhuman effort and go all out and try for the “Best Game That Was Released in 2003 But Later Updated in 2013 AND MAYBE AGAIN in 2014 BUT PROBABLY NOT Award!”
We realise this is a very lofty goal and competition for this award will be fierce so we are opening it up and asking for your suggestions. What would you really like to see in POSTAL 2 that isn't already in POSTAL 2? Is there anything you would like to see changed or improved upon? All suggestions will be mulled over and torn apart and possibly reconstructed but unfortunately not all will make the cut. Keep in mind there are only so many things we can do with the human body even in a game and some body parts simply don’t fit in other body parts. Do you like someone else’s suggestion? Quote them and add to it if you can or include any additional ideas you may have that will create even more bloody or gory or smelly action-packed Postal 2 fun and games.
Post your suggestions below or just send them in when you can but the faster the better. We want to make sure we get a good head start on winning that 16th Annual GOATSE Award and we want you to be part of it! *Unofficial Announcement, any similarity to a real announcement living or dead is purely coincidental.
« on: January 02, 2014, 01:00:30 PM »
Creepy Crawlies Everywhere!
Since the release of our free major patch last December we have unfortunately run into a few annoying little glitches and bugs which we are doing our best to get rid of as fast as possible. We have already released a few hot fixes so if you encountered bugs that stopped you from playing, try again it might be fixed! Getting rid of these bugs or debugging the patch/game can be a lot trickier than it might sound. Now we all know that these annoyances are not caused by real living, breathing bugs (or are they) so where did the term come from?
Although she claimed she was not first to say it, American Navy Rear Admiral Grace Hopper is often credited with coining the term. This came about in 1947 when a moth was discovered to be impeding the work they were doing on a computer. She remarked they were debugging the system (removing the moth) and the name became popular for the many little annoyances that can plague almost anything computer or electronic based. As a matter of note, the actual remains of the bug can be seen taped to the groups log book at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of American History located in Washington, D. C.
The term debugging actually dates back at least to 1878 when Thomas Edison used it to describe technical problems with his telegraph system. He called the method to overcome these problems a “bug trap”. The term debugging was also used in 1945 in aeronautics testing for both engines and aircraft cameras.
It takes special tools and a lot of skill and patience to fix or erase some of these bugs. It seems like with real live bugs, you just get one area under control and they suddenly spring up somewhere else where they hadn't been before. Some of the bugs are a lot tougher than others and if some of the bugs have gone POSTAL they can be really hard to overcome. So you see we are not the first (or likely the last) to suffer from these little buggers. We have our own “bug traps” and our buggers… errrrr…debuggers are hard at work. Thanks to fans who have reported problem areas we are pretty confident we will soon get all these nasty little critters squashed. If you find a bug remember to let us know when and where and we can get to it that much sooner. Please don’t fall into the trap ”Oh, somebody else will find it and report it”. The more reports we have, even if they are all for the same bug, the easier it is to locate and fix. We have actually found some of the bugs to be quite entertaining such as being able to ride around on the top of a characters head and use it as your own personal chauffeur. Want a little extra entertainment? Why not see if you can find some of the funny ones we are talking about for yourself. Just don’t forget to report it once you are done playing!