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Topics - jabbapopovvodka
« on: April 13, 2013, 05:26:17 PM »
Okay basically it's jabba-plaining time. I'll play it straight. I don't like how forum navigation within a thread (changing topic page number, switching to forum index) is located at the bottom of the page only, instead of at the top as well. I need navigation at the top of a topic!
« on: March 10, 2013, 03:23:56 PM »
so i bought these like 7 about 7 years ago and they've lasted me well; only thing is they're starting to wear and I'd like to get new ones, but I can't tell if sony even makes them anymore, or what they consider their "updated" model. i tried some klipsch earbuds but they sound frankly distant, whereas these sony's are very immediate, the sound is close, you can hear without having to "focus" your mind. anyway, any audiphiles know?
« on: February 24, 2013, 07:31:51 PM »
In cabbage patch world, if babies are born from the ground (ie where food typically comes from) does that mean, through converse reasoning, that instead of sex producing babies, it produces food? Just imagine, having your lover plunge his ramrod in your orifice and after a set of nice heavy moaning a pizza pie comes plopping out. Cabbage patch kids pizza party, here we come!
« on: February 21, 2013, 06:08:10 PM »
Ya the new android based game box console! Can you imagine crazy birds on your hd tv! ooh boy this one sounds like a real winner! *barf* Can't imagine anyone wasting money to develop games for an android based tv console. PASS!
« on: February 14, 2013, 02:16:29 PM »
Valentines Day (Though more like venereal disease day for some of you guys stuck having sex with prostitutes. :barf:)
Anyway, I hope, if you haven't found the love of your life, that you don't give up the search; because without love, as the song aks, where would you be now?
So crack open a cold one for you lonely guys, or a warm red wine to go with your candlit dinner for you lovely couples; or warm up the vibrator, rom coms, and fattening chocolates for you lonely ladies! The clock's ticking! Get started! (Drills a hole in your bedroom wall, lights a cigar and watches)
« on: February 10, 2013, 01:49:31 PM »
Okay so I got barrels full of cds. I want to digitize them, for use in an mp3 player and possibly computer related programs like audiosurf and what have you. So what's the program to use to manage rip my cds and manage my digitized library? I ask you, the (l)users [teehee] because I know you're into that sort of thing, ie mass hording of junk for e-peen creds. Give me a process guys!
« on: February 02, 2013, 08:22:10 PM »
« on: February 02, 2013, 10:01:35 AM »
And I don't even like sports? Get with the program guys! Pig skin or cow hide, what's the difference! You men carve out the insides and chow down, and are still not satisfied! At least you treat the sheep skin a little more tenderly!
Anyway, my pics: I think the Beached Whales are gonna drown out the Flying Eagles in this year's game to end all football games (for a few months.)
« on: January 11, 2013, 11:30:29 AM »
You were supposed to steal money from the rich and give to the poor, not take from everyone and put it in your coffer! I checked my paycheck today and it was $14 short. I make chump change as it is. How am I supposed to take my lady friends out on a date? I guess it's a romantic evening of ramen noodles and the funny pages. Thanks again, O-BUM-a!
« on: January 10, 2013, 02:29:43 PM »
I'm a horny son of a gun. If I wasn't wearing pants I'd always be yelping "Ow!" due to bumping my erect boner into things. Now I realize pleasure and pain ride the same bus (the human form), and so you can never live life without a chance of both occurring; what's worse, humans are thinking machines, moral gamblers as it were, and as many wouldn't eschew mendacity where it would result in a profit, pain often kicks the seat of pleasure until it displaces it. Coming to the point: my mind is wracked by the idea that sex is a real gamble, venereal disease is always around the corner, spread not usually by rape or by those desiring to be infected. It's very easy to be duped, partly because it's so easy to dupe. A frank confession: I've had sexual encounters with 4 people in my life and never used a condom. Thankfully I don't have aids or warts, but I could. I imagine many people follow the same behavior pattern as myself, trusting in the lord or the god of sex to protect their genitals. Is that really the case? What happens when you do get a disease? You can't enjoy sex like you used to: or can you? The person who gave it to you obviously was! One must feel horrifically victimized after getting it from someone who felt so pleasant in the act. Do you lash out at the person? Are there means of exacting justice on the person?
« on: December 09, 2012, 07:00:43 PM »
This forum is like a candy cane now! I wanna roll it around my tongue mmm mmm and then go for the meaty bite!
« on: November 15, 2012, 03:04:17 PM »
At the end of work today we were all standing around waiting for the bell to ring and let us out when I happened to overhear a conversation between a couple of old guys I work with. They were talking about water bills and hot showers (after a day's hard work what better balm? mercy mercy mercy!) when one of them gets to remarking how his daughter when she was a girl living at home, before having to pay bills of her own, used to take the longest showers. Now this would have been processed by me as idle banter along with the rest of the nonsense I hear, but I've heard old guys complaining about their daughters taking long showers once too often that I just had to get to the bottom of it! (If I was still a pervert I'd tell you guys something like "get to the bottom of it physically, lying on my back in the shower with my mouth open as the perfunctory drain while these girls rub off and get clean at the same time." But I'm not.)
Now, is this a real phenomena, that is, girls do take long showers? Or is this some kind of observer bias; that is to say, do old men typically notice the length of their daughters' showers because somewhere in the caverns of their minds they're thinking about them rubbing one out in there? I'm more prone to thinking the latter, particularly because in their vitriol against their shower time they always bring up bills. The American family unit is founded on financial co-dependence of the woman relying on the man for money, in exchange for which the man gets to exercise his jigglies and boost his ego. It's characteristic of men to define women in a financially subordinate position (all the better to eat you my dear!) and it seems the daughter is no exception.
As a young man in heat in need of lonesome privacy, the shower was definitely THE place to be. Turn a nob and wait for the hot liquid to come out and you've got your own personal steam room with sound filters against the outside world (in which you can turn YOUR knob and wait for the hot liquid to come out!) The only problem is that masturbating in the shower DOES increase time therein, if not only to "lather up the mood," but to clean it all off. What I'm saying is that it's more of a mess going wet than dry; the heat transforms some of the substance into gas, which then clings to your body and invades the pores. I know this is a real effect, because even farts last longer in showers: squatting down over the drain and poofing, the fart still manages to rise and linger for an uncomfortable period of time, essentially sullying the shower experience. When a male masturbates in the shower, after the semen has come out, he feels all icky, as if there's a stain he can't clean off. This isn't just a post-release emotional phenomena, but a physical transformation due to the heat. Even the goo seems to clump up at the drain almost like puddy, and what's a fond and familiar report clumped inside of a tissue is now a slippery fiend which evades even the cleansing rain. Therefore, masturbating in the shower essentially doubles the time for males. Females, as they don't come, I'm uncertain if this line of reasoning would even be relevant in accounting for increased shower time, but I thought I'd share it with you anyway. If I wanna know what goes in theirs, let's be fair and disclose what goes on in ours! Let it be known that all I've talked about thus far has been primarily occupied by adolescence; the adult male typically outgrows this behavior, no longer so tightly strapped for privacy. He can masturbate from the comfort of his own couch and not have to worry about dad screaming about stains, as it were.
So now that I've given you all a little primer wherefrom I'm formulating this question, let me restate the question. "Do girls masturbate in the shower?"
« on: November 12, 2012, 12:56:52 PM »
Remember the days they sold the system by the year? Then remember the days they sold the system by some weird suffixed word or letter combination? Well now we're in the realm of arbitrary numbers! I'm definitely not seeing a windows "nein" selling in the german markets teehee.
« on: August 27, 2012, 01:09:14 PM »
So I noticed here and saw we didn't have a thread on two of the three hottest topics since man was born! Politics and Religion... More on religion later, perhaps!
And the third? Whores! Though I notice you people are a little bit squeamish or ashamed, so you've got it nestled in its own little corner out of the way. Well, I won't call you men out for being boys, but between you and me, I know what's up!
So politics! I'm more partial to whores and religion... There's a certain magic about the two that set my mind (among other things!) floating, as if between two magnets of the same polarity. Tits!... Devil horns! Pussy!... Pit of hell! Long flowing locks of golden shine!... Spine cracking shrieks of sorrow! Ah!... But politics! I don't know about that dog! Most I see is a mutt chained out back! Doesn't give me much trouble! But men who wear jeans with shirts tucked in... The nerve! How does this romney think he's going to win with a style like that! As if he's portraying a working-man at his child's PTA meeting, preserving his blue collar persona, simultaneously conveying dignity and modesty behind the decorum of a belt! Hah! We know the truth! He's not one of us!
« on: August 13, 2012, 12:27:17 PM »
Hi guys! Thought I'd make a semi-intellectual post, for you four-eyed sniffling brainiacs out there! I even used a "British" spelling in the title! Don't be afraid! The redcoats aren't coming! I just thought it would ad a little bit of esteem-able flair, for as we all know, in this topsy-turvy BigMac world, it isn't often one gets to take the time to appreciate a capacity towards classiness; neither do we often treat our brains with an I-Love-You hug! So enough of the brambling about! What's your favourite book, and why? Also, no cheating and saying stuff like the Bible or Qur'an: I understand the importance of religion and/or spirituality in one's life, so it goes without saying the value one might place in these "Mighty Tomes!" It's also not my place to foment a kind of religious debate, at the moment at least! (Haha, I'm a cheeky bastard, or am I?)
So I'll start first. My favorite author is Dostoevsky, because two of my favorite books were written by him. It's a toss up (in the figurative sense, don't ruffle those pages or crease any spines!) between Crime and Punishment and The Brothers Karamazov. Crime and Punishment, because I thought it was really edgy stuff having the main character hack away at a pawn broker and her retarded half-sister (ala "and her little dog too, the man really knew how to add that little extra flourish things, teehee!) with an axe specially slung in in a coat compartment invented for just the purpose. The revolution's got to start somewhere!... Brother's Karamazov, because of the brothers' father, Fyodor Karamazov. A more oafish goof in all of literature I've never met! You can feel the slime dripping in his every swig of brandy or obscene squawking!
Anywho, somebody else, pull up a chair, lean back, light a candle, and share your prose adventures! Or poetry! Why not! I'm not going to discriminate (just yet, teehee!)