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Topics - RWS

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1
Reminder: Win an Ultimate Fan Prize Pack - Art/Video Contest!



Well everybody, the half-way point on our contest has already come and we are rapidly closing in on the home stretch. You still have time to enter your work and join the ranks of quality (and not so quality but it’s the thought that counts) submissions that we have already received for this contest. Right now we are not that overwhelmed with entries. People may not have realized this is an actual contest with actual worthwhile prizes. That means there is a very good chance to still win the big prize in the contest even if you just start working on your entry today! Remember it does not have to be a work of art or professionally done. Your entry simply needs to be anything fun that shows you’re a POSTAL fan. If you really want to show your support but don’t have the time to make a submission yourself, spread the word about the contest! The more people who know about the contest, the more fun and creative entries we will receive which benefits everyone since some of them are downright funny. Another benefit is that the more entries we get, the more prizes we may give away so the odds of winning may increase with every entry.

Now for a reminder of the Rules!
  • The video can use gameplay footage or any other footage within the POSTAL Zeitgeist. Basically this means if you don’t want to use gameplay footage, you can make your own footage however you want. Want to make the ultimate Lego POSTAL video? Go for it! Want to do something with stop motion Claymation? Awesome! Want to make an animated feature? If you have the time, go for it! Want to get together with your friends and make your own POSTAL movie? Do it, but you probably shouldn’t mention the prize or they will want their share! Have a completely unique idea for making a video? Do it! No video style is excluded…except Porn and don’t go out and do illegal things such as shoot up your city, not even that really annoying guy everyone hates because that guy might be one of us!
  • The video must be at least a minute in length (and no that doesn’t mean hold the title screen or “The End” screen up for 59 seconds!) There is no maximum length so there are no restrictions on your creativity!
  • While we appreciate all the fan works you have done in the past and welcome you to post them, only new submissions will be entered in to the contest.
  • Don’t steal other people’s work and claim it as your own. That’s just not cool!
  • Post your entries in to the comments section of the original thread. Aiming for a specific category? Put that in your comment too. Videos should be hosted on Youtube, pictures should be hosted somewhere that won’t just delete them after a few days. If you want to submit something but don’t want to post it in the comments, Personal Message it to RWS by clicking the little chat bubble icon on the left side of this post. Since we don't want to stifle your creativity, you can enter more than once.
  • Do you think someone else’s submission is really awesome? Say so in the comments too!
  • The Rules may be adjusted based on fan response to the contest.
  • Contest ends April 30th, 2014.
  • The contest is void where prohibited, sorry about that!
To reiterate all you need to do to enter is simply post a link to your submission in the comments of contest announcement thread.

2
Front Page News / POSTAL Babe of the Month: Marilyn
« on: April 06, 2014, 08:29:11 PM »
POSTAL Babe of the Month: Marilyn




It’s Babes galore as another cutie is welcomed into our ever growing group of lovely ladies. Long, silky tresses make a perfect frame for the beautiful face of our latest awe inspiring Babe of the Month. Miss April is a breathtaking 23 year old sweetheart named Marilyn. Her dark chocolate coloured curls compliment the soft satiny appearance of skin so smooth it would make your fingers itch and ache to touch it just to see if it feels as creamy as it looks. The first thing you actually notice about Marilyn are those hauntingly expressive eyes. Her long lashed and sexy deep brown eyes twinkle and flash as they gaze up at you with pretend shyness. You’ll want to stand up and cheer when you see all those curvaceous lines Marilyn is proudly allowing you to closely inspect, examine and drool over. Just take one look at that willowy waist and her sweetly rounded behind and your imagination will run wild.

You can see more of Marilyn’s luscious look in our Babes section. Our interview is fairly short this month. Her pictures say it all.


Marilyn's Interview:

1.   Hi Marilyn glad you can join us here at RWS.  Please introduce yourself to our POSTAL fans....

Hi Postal fans my name is Marilyn I'm 23 years old and I love fashion modeling and dancing

2.    Tell us about your Postal Babe photoshoot experience?

My photo shoot experience was amazing, me doing the nude pics was something new and different for me but I loved shooting in a different scenery and place. I'd love to do it again.

3.  What was it like working with RWS founder Vince Desi?

I loved working with Vince he's a very professional man to work with. He keeps the environment of the photo shoot comfortable, fun, and exciting.

4. Ok let's have some fun and start the fantasy...
a) Marilyn describe for our fans your dream guy...
b) If you could do anything on a date what would it be?

a) My dream guy is a good loving kind romantic big hearted man. Who his parents taught him good morals and how to treat a lady. Someone who takes care of himself physically inside and out, who likes the gym, workout etc... Good hygiene is a must and good conversion as well. Good looking face and pretty smile!!! Someone who will not only be there as a bf figure but as a good listener, best friend and love as well. Throughout my bad relationship experiences I've became a lil particular in what and who I am looking for. Everyone has their own preferences. Overall a man that's one of a kind unique loving romantic detailed man who will make me feel like a lady and remind me everyday how beautiful I am in his eyes and that no other woman compares to me.

b)  If I could do anything for a date it would definitely be something spontaneous like going on a walk to the beach with my significant other, getting a condo to stay by the beach and doing something romantic. Rose petals everywhere candles lit up bath tub with bubbles and a nice movie.


5.  Tell us something about yourself that you've never admitted before

Something that I've never admitted before is that one time I did a good deed for someone lending them $500 not wanting nothing in return just hoping she would pay me back someday and she denied it and I never got my money back. 

Which would you prefer?
Car or plane?  -  Car.
Bikini or topless? - Topless.
Oral or anal? -  Oral.
Pumps or sneakers? - Pumps definitely.
Guys or girls? - Guys.




3
Front Page News / Fun Times, Humble Sale and Contest Reminder!
« on: April 01, 2014, 10:41:50 PM »
Fun Times, Humble Sale and Contest Reminder!




We hope everybody enjoyed our little APRIL FOOLS joke yesterday and took it in the spirit of fun intended. If not, well Dude said it all at the end. Only those of you who actually pushed the BUY button will know what the Dude said though. (Thanks for your support for trying to make those purchases by the way). Who knows, maybe some day we will actually come up with some of those additions. The Golden Weapons Pack sounded pretty good to me and I will always wonder what was in that darn RWS Co. Supply Crate. Nothing could top that sexy Dudette babe though with that fluffy bit of chin hair. I’ll bet it tickles. What a total turn-on!

In any case, this is an important reminder folks and not a joke. We want to remind everyone that POSTAL 2 is on sale for a few days more for only $2.49 in the Humble Store. That’s a huge 75% off regular price so you sure can’t go wrong there. Don’t forget RWS will donate a portion of that worthwhile charities so you can feel good about getting such a great bargain plus helping somebody else out at the same time. Don’t end up kicking yourself for missing out on savings this big. Get your Steam key from the Humble Store Widget right now!

This is also a reminder about our video contest for those of you who like to win prizes or just show off your work. Keep those entries coming in to win the biggest, hugest, bestest, and possibly even autographed Fan Prize Pack here at RWS since… maybe ever. We have had some really interesting entries so far but we know there is still a whole lot more out there. Don’t be shy! Let’s get them in here so we can all see and enjoy them. Remember just about anything (legal) will do.

You may not be an artist but we accept stick figure drawings too. Anything goes. Finger paints anyone? They might be good for a laugh (although you know they likely are not going to win but then again you just never know). Show us what you’ve got. Take a picture of that crate of Krotchy O’s or maybe make a video of your Krotchy doll wearing your Postal t-shirt sitting with the controller in his hand playing the Fudge pack. Those are just a few simple ideas. We know you are much more creative. We are going to be giving away lots of great prizes. Remember to tell your friends to get in on our contest too. The more entries we get, the more prizes we will be giving out so your chances of winning increase to boot. Your videos or drawings etc. might even make you famous (at least within the RWS community). You still have time to get your project finished and entered but don’t delay too long or cut-off date (April 30, 2014) could be here and gone before you know it. Just think of how you will feel if what you think is pure crap wins the big prize while your total work-of-art masterpiece is still sitting all alone and forgotten at home. Better enter now. Don’t get left out! Remember it’s easy to enter. Just click here for the link to the article to get the entry details.


4
Front Page News / In-Game Cash Shop now Open!
« on: April 01, 2014, 04:37:31 AM »
In-Game Cash Shop now Open!




My how time flies when you forget what you are supposed to be doing and are not paying particularly close attention to what you actually are doing. Way back in June 2013 we ran a poll asking you how you felt about Downloadable Content (DLC) for your games. Much to our surprise it seems like most of you who voted generally like the idea of DLC. Since, as we often state, we want to do our very best to please our trusted and loyal fans, we worked hard to produce what we think will enhance your game well beyond anything you might expect. We admit it took us a while to get around to it (it does take time to design, test and work out the bugs in any new material) but we are now very happy to announce POSTAL 2 finally has micro-transactions! We gave you all two completely free massive content updates and some seasonal content free of charge, but now we are going to ask for just a little back. We realize most of you out there already own POSTAL 2 so us putting it on sale for 75% off doesn't mean a lot to you. We know you still want to show your love and support in order to keep our game going, growing and constantly improving so now you have a chance to really do your part. The great news is for a very small output you get something fantastic back in return! There is just so much good stuff here we just don’t even know where to begin. We know you all are just as excited as we are for the grand opening of our in-game cash store that you likely have already stopped reading this and are trying to find it. It’s quite easy to find it in POSTAL 2’s main menu. For the time being it is a nice bright green button to help it stand out that says “Paid DLC (NEW!!)” just click it to access the in-game store! For your convenience, we have tried to keep our prices in line or lower than DLC found in other high quality and popular video games.

Here are just some of the wonderful options you can find inside:


First off there is the Elite Gamer Pack for just $9.99! Like to show off your skills but you don’t really have any? Well enhance your gaming experience with these exclusive perks. Rad!


Golden Weapons Pack is also just $9.99! Shower your weapons in this golden finish! Golden bullets not included in this pack.


So far we have had a lot of positive feedback from our seasonal updates. Now for just $4.99 you can dress the part with the Holiday Clothing Pack! Now you can add a little extra holiday spirit to your next psychotic rampage with these festive outfits! Festive hats available in the upcoming $4.99 Festive Hats Pack.


Is the difficulty setting you chose getting too hard for you? Can’t find a health kit when you need one? Get the Regenerating Health Pack for the pittance of $4.99! This protective coating of strawberry love juice on your screen guarantees those pesky flesh wounds will magically heal themselves! So real!


Do you like games of chance? Want a chance to get your very own smoking barrel shot gun? Maybe you prefer to have the ability to track the number of kills you made with a particular weapon? Maybe you want to have companion that floats around your face telling you wise cracks. Well then have we got something for you! For just 99 cents you can buy a RWS Co. Supply Crate! For just $2.49 more you can buy an RWS Co. Supply Crate Key and actually find out what is in the box! It’s just like being on a game show! You know you want to find out what’s in that box. We even want to find out what is in that box you just bought! Plus you have to admit, that key looks pretty cool. Edit: The key is currently unavailable at this time, but we will have this sorted soon!


Some of you complained when we removed the God mode cheat, but now you can actually buy it back for just $4.99! Now you might be asking yourself “Why are we making you pay for cut content?” The answer is really quite simple! Some people consider using invincibility unfair so you can consider this a fine for using this cheat!

 
Ever wish you could pull off cool maneuvers like wall running in POSTAL 2? Well now you can with the $7.99 Parkour pack! You don’t need to play those fancy next-gen games to enjoy the fast paced thrills of wall-walking!

 
Dive into a new era of next-generation graphics with new Lens Flare Pack. For just $3.99 you can simulate looking in to the Sun!

 
We all know who the coolest character in POSTAL 2 is, no it’s not the Dude and it isn’t even Vince, it is Mike J! For just $4.99 your can have your very own personal Mike J to boss around! Make him carry all your stuff and send him on suicide missions. It's fun!

 
This is it. People have been asking for this expansion for years! We have finally managed to scramble together that $3.50 needed to develop this long-awaited mission! That’s right the Super-Fun Pigeon Hunter Mission is finally here for just $59.99! We know it is a bit more expensive than the other DLC but you have to trust us it is well worth the price. It is so very Super-Fun!

 
These days, Paradise is a pretty dangerous place. How many times have you and Champ been minding your own business when suddenly you come under attack and Champ leaps in to action to save you? Protect your faithful dog from danger with this beautiful and resilient armor. Champ Armor is only $2.50 and protects against bullets, edged weapons, and is both fire and explosion resistant!

 
We have had a brand new way to win the game! Tired of playing peaceful? Killing sprees and blood baths losing their edge? Well try the new Gary Coleman Romance Path for just $6.99! Tell your true love what you're really talkin' about in this path of forbidden romance!

 
We have received this request a lot, especially from the ladies who enjoy POSTAL 2. That big black censor circle is an anachronism and now you have the opportunity to remove it once and for all! For just $69.99 you can uncensor the Dude’s willy and see the POSTAL Dude's monster in all its veiny glory!

 
Just can’t get the cops off your tail? The protestors and other groups just won’t leave you alone? Well for just $1.99 you can go undercover with this clever disguise. Each purchase will give you 5 consumable incognito glasses powerups, which, when used, will clear your wanted meter.

 
Some people have complained that POSTAL 2 is sexist for not having a female main character. We are going to right this oversight with the new Female Dude pack! For just $4.50 you can represent gender equality and smash the patriarchy! Warning: Putting out fires from a distance may prove challenging!


You have to admit, that is some pretty awesome stuff we have added in for your enjoyment. But that’s not all; this is just the first wave! That’s right; we plan to add even more cool DLC in the future. The Leland Gun Violence Prevention Pack should be available hopefully as early as next week. One of the many attractions provided by this pack is that it gives all protesters outside of the RWS office WMDs and all Police Officers rocket launchers even if you are playing Liebermode. It adds a whole new level of fun to the game! What are you waiting for? Get these awesome DLCs today from our brand new micro-transaction store! You could start with just one or two of the new additions but why not splurge and get them all at once. You know you are going to want them all so there is no point in waiting. Be the first to comment on our DLC’s once you have tried them out. We are pretty sure you will be telling us and all our fans and supporters just how great you think these new additions are. Remember, as ever, you ask for it and we do our best to provide!


5
Front Page News / So Many Pedestrians…So Little Time!
« on: March 28, 2014, 06:19:58 AM »
So Many Pedestrians…So Little Time!





It feels like years since I first backed Stainless Games Carmageddon’s Kickstarter….mostly because I did it a couple of years ago back in 2012. Two weeks ago the more generous backers were treated to an exclusive early access period. We actually got to try out six of the cars and a track. It was rather a lot of fun playing with the unbalanced and incomplete cars and track. The Eagle, the iconic car of the game, felt like it was made out of soggy noodles that were held together by tissue paper and that it would lose a fight with a Zimmer frame. No matter how much you rammed the Eagle into another vehicle, the other car drove off blissfully unaware that you even touched it while you unfortunately became practically wasted. Luckily you could just repair the damage right away and it was fun to watch all your missing pieces fly back to your car and hammer themselves back into place. This is by no means a detractor because it is always cool to see just how badly you can get damaged in a game and still keep going.

Paper Eagle is epic

On the flip side, if you drove the Towmeister, you could practically waste cars by just looking at them and receive barely a scratch to your paint to show for it. Of course the game is unbalanced at this stage in the game, pun possibly intended, but that actually makes it extra fun. Over time the game will be polished, the cars and tracks and all the other entertaining stuff that makes Carmageddon great will be completed.

I have named this penguin Tomy, don't ask why.

Considering just how Pre-Alpha the game is right now, it looks incredibly amazing. The speed sensitive spoiler on the Eagle with the embedded flaps to help it slow down, Screwies screw spinning and pulsing, Towmeister’s tow hook swinging from side to side with the ability to take out peds that get in its way are just some of the little details that really add enjoyment and interest to the gaming experience. Now it is available to all the late and cheap frugal backers as well as anyone else who has a Steam account and a method of payment.

Cowabunga!

As mentioned earlier, the game is in a very early Pre-Alpha stage of its development. The game is in no way meant to be played and critically reviewed at this point in time. It’s basically a pre-mature baby and it is looking for a team of dedicated people to help take care of it and help it grow up to be healthy. I’ve seen plenty of people already saying “This game sucks in comparison to X (such as New Car Game) because X is much more polished due to being in beta” and comments such as “I don’t really understand what Pre-Alpha means. That means it’s finished right?” Likely for a while we will see plenty of those types of remarks and questions in the Steam Community forums and reviews. Basically I suggest you Google use your favorite search engine to find more details on what Pre-Alpha means and decide for yourself if you want to buy the game now or wait for later. If you get frustrated when there are broken or missing textures, when something doesn’t work (such as the horn at the time of writing this) or just general lack of optimization and polish, then hold off playing it. On the other hand, if you love watching a game developing and enjoy seeing all the wacky and unpredictable things going on, then by all means go for it. Perhaps you already bought the game and hate the way it is right now? Well just wait a while and give it another try.

We may need to swap insurance info

A good example of the wait a bit and try again comes in the form of the public Early Access launch. With the launch came two additional tracks and an alternative route for the existing one. Sure none of the levels are finished yet, but you can already see the game growing and expanding upon itself. There are even new pedestrians including the iconic Cows and Penguins.

The three ways to win in Carmageddon

I have to admit that it had been a while since I played the classic Carmageddons. This meant  the initially included Rig Wreck level didn’t feel overly familiar to me with the exception of  seeing the familiar old car designs frozen in ice… nice touch there Stainless. This, in a way, is great because it makes the track new to me, plus it shows how much Reincarnation is improving upon the old designs and visuals. I then decided to try one of the new tracks included in the public launch, the Dusty Trails level…. The nostalgia just started flooding over me. I had a very strong feeling that this track was familiar and I had been there before. As soon as I noticed that I was starting at the top of a steep hill, I just knew there was going to be a large herd of cows grazing peacefully at the bottom. I decided to do my usual “go way too fast and be airborne all the way down to the bottom” and sure enough, there they were, the cows in all their gory glory. Next up there was the broken bridge that I always had trouble making it across. It brought a smile to my face when my car started to lose control on its way across the bridge jumps like it always did for me in the past. Surprisingly, this time I actually managed to land upright on the other side rather than becoming a smoldering heap limping its way out of the ravine that I expected…  This was a proud moment for me that not even getting knocked over the edge by the Towmeister could ruin.

I REGRET NOTHING!


Now it’s time for where the rubber meets the road….


Quote from: Steam Store Page
ABOUT THE FULL GAME

Carmageddon: Reincarnation features vehicles from the classic original game, updated and improved, and some brand new crazy rides too. Carmageddon basically invented the whole concept of videogame physics and real-time damaging of cars and the scenery, and so it’s obviously our responsibility to bring this technology BANG up-to-date with a brand new state of the art car damage (and repair) system. Crush, bend, twist, and completely mangle your opponents’ and your own car – smash parts off, or split it in two; This game is all about wrecking motors and pummelling pedestrians, and it’s taking the brief on to a whole new level! And of course Power, Armour, and Offensive upgrades make a return along with whole new customising options, allowing you to personalise the killing capabilities of your preferred rides.

Opponents - A host of old favourites make a comeback, along with some all-new faces. Only ever seen before as low resolution mugshots, now you’ll get to see them from head to toe (well, head to knees in the case of Screwie) in full HD 3D glory – usually as they smash through their windscreen and hurtle past (or INTO) yours!

Environments - The new environments are amalgamations of the best bits from the numerous chunks of landscape that we all loved to tear around in Carmageddon. “Bleak City”, “Dusty Trails”, “Industrial” make a return, with their memorable landmark features such as the Loop ’de’ Loop, acid pits and Football Stadium. Everything will be reassuringly surreal; hell, we’ve even managed to incorporate a giant food mixer into a level!

The topography and detail in the locations is being updated and enhanced, with even more fun stuff to smash into, smash up, snap off, and send careening into the poor pedestrian population. “Nice Shot Sir!” And talking of pedestrians…

Pedestrians - Once again, the game features a varied mix of adult pedestrians of all ages, shapes, persuasions and species (Carmageddon is an equal opportunities Ped Slaughterfest). Classic pedestrians will make a return, such as old lady on a Zimmer frame and old man with his stick, with their famous cry “I was in the war!”, plus bikini babes and swimming trunk hunks, fat bastards, and herds of cows in improbable locations. Joining them are some new faces – including the Stainless dev team and some guest appearances by the generous Kickstarter Backers who pledged their way into a VIP role in the game!

PowerUps - PowerUps are back (well, they couldn’t not appear in a game bearing the name Carmageddon, could they!) and this time they’re even funnier, surrealier, hurtier, and messier than ever! Lots of the classic PUps (as Stainless calls them) return in super-enhanced form, such as Repulsificators, Kangaroos & Solid Granites. Then we have all new PUps like "Pelvic Thrust" and a variety under the heading “Tossers”! Combine PUps to create hilarious combo results like “Groovin’ Helium Filled Peds”, or “Peds with Stupid Heads at the Temporary Rapture"!

And much more!

Play Classic Carmageddon game modes against the new improved AI opponents, online against the rest of the Carmafan masses, or on the couch with your mates! Progress your Career through the Carma ranks or have an MP romp playing Classic Carmageddon mode, Fox 'n' Hounds (always been Stainless MP game session favourite!), Car Crusher etc., plus the odd mode you’ve never played before…

And relive all the mangling mayhem with a fabulously updated Action Replay System, with multiple cameras and replay options – it’ll mean you never miss a pile-up again! Get those movies online and brag about your ped culling achievements. And there will be plenty of THOSE too – oh yes… Achievements, Challenges and Collectibles to hunt down, that’ll keep the whole family entertained for hour upon happy blood and oil splattered hour.





6
Front Page News / It's GAME OVER for Leland Yee!
« on: March 27, 2014, 12:21:01 PM »
It's GAME OVER for Leland Yee!




This is a top of the list news story RWS is more than happy to make public. Long time nemesis of gamers everywhere has shown his true colors. California State Senator LELAND YEE who took Running With Scissors to the Supreme Court in an attempt to criminalize the sale of violent video games to children has been ARRESTED. You may remember the court case RWS was involved in became a landmark case for free speech and one of the biggest legislation battles the video game industry faced to date. It cost the American tax payers millions of dollars, wasted an enormous amount of time and was eventually struck down.

The criminal activities Leland Yee has been arrested for are certainly not games. These monstrous acts could actually take lives or cause horrible, untold suffering to unsuspecting citizens.  In a bid to raise money to aid in his campaign to become Secretary of State, Yee allegedly solicited money from under-cover FBI agents. As a result the FBI arrested Yee on grounds of corruption and bribery and conspiracy to traffic in firearms without a license. The weapons of choice were deadly shoulder fired automatics and missiles that would create a lot more real-life devastation than a little fake blood. These weapons are designed to slaughter or mutilate real living, breathing human beings and cause the actual destruction of their property. This man is a complete hypocrite. He advocated for gun control and was actually once named to the Gun Violence Prevention Honor Roll. Lee was quoted as saying “It is extremely important that individuals in the State of California do not own assault weapons. I mean this is so crystal clear, there is no debate, there is no discussion”. This man who accused the gaming industry of greed just didn’t understand or maybe just didn’t care so long as he made his money, that his aiding the selling of assault weapons would cause real death and destruction wherever they were used. He was also charged with participating in a scheme to defraud citizens of honest services.

Yee was arrested at his home in California. He could face up to 16 years in prison. It doesn’t seem like enough for the horrific pain and anguish he purposely intended to supply the means for to inflict on his fellow men. A little piss in a video game doesn’t seem so bad now does it Mr. Yee?

To celebrate the well deserved come-down of what we believe will be the now or soon to be Ex Senator and certainly not Secretary of State, Running with Scissors is having a one day 50% off sale in our entire store. Enter the code leland to get your goodies now and give a wave goodbye to the Ex. He who laughs last, laughs best. Justice is Served!

"The Postal Dude is delighted once again to be on the side of Truth, the ultimate weapon."
Vince Desi
Running With Scissors CEO

7
Front Page News / Introducing the Humble POSTAL 2 Non-Bundle!
« on: March 25, 2014, 06:55:10 PM »
Introducing the Humble POSTAL 2 Non-Bundle!




You know it’s already very easy to get hold of our POSTAL games but still we get asked all the time, “Hey Running With Scissors, why don’t you add more ways for us to purchase our copies of POSTAL 2? I mean I can already buy it on Desura and Steam and can even order a copy of the Fudge Pack for myself from the RWS Store but isn’t there some other way I could buy it? Perhaps you could give me the ability to pay even more for it than the pittance you ask because I want to show my support by giving you a big tip?” Yes, it is truly uncanny how many times we have been asked that exact question in pretty much that exact way. Well we have listened carefully to your repeated requests. Since our fans are very important to us and we want to make you happy, we made the extra effort and are pleased to introduce the pay what we want Humble POSTAL 2 Non-Bundle! Through the Humble Store Widget you can get POSTAL 2 on Steam for Windows, Mac and Linux for only $9.99 plus whatever tip, large or small, you want to give us. We here at Running With Scissors are not greedy at all and love to support Charity*. You can do your bit and help to support Charity too by buying your copy of POSTAL 2 from our Humble Store Widget rather than the Steam store. A generous portion of each sale will be given straight to Charity. You can find the Widget conveniently located on the right side of our homepage. Just click the “Humble Store Buy POSTAL 2 help Charity” button to start the exceptionally easy process. Just think about it, you get cross-platformed POSTAL 2 and that warm fuzzy feeling that you are supporting Charity as well since RWS will be donating part of the proceeds to charity!


*Charity may actually be a lady of the evening with an ironic name.

8
Front Page News / In Memory of Dave Brockie
« on: March 24, 2014, 02:58:01 PM »
In Memory of Dave Brockie




Running With Scissors is deeply saddened to learn of the death of our friend David Brockie at his home in Richmond, VA on March 23, 2014. Dave was one of the best hard-rock vocalists in the business and also an excellent bass guitar player. We here at RWS would like to offer our deepest condolences to his family, band mates, friends and fans.


Known by the stage name of Oderus Urungus, Dave was the lead singer in the heavy metal band Gwar which he co-founded in 1984 and was the only remaining permanent member. Dave was a very talented and intelligent person with a multitude of interests and great sense of humour. Gwar was notorious for its unusually bizarre and downright freaky costumes and deliberately offensive material. Dave’s role was to play a 43 billion year old alien from the planet Scumdogia. He was actually a much younger 50 years old in real life. The band had a mythically entertaining story explaining how and why the band and its ancestors arrived on Earth. Gwar was nominated twice for Grammy awards and was known for such albums as Scumdogs of the Universe, War Party and Bloody Pit of Horror. They had just released their latest album Battle Maximus last September.



Gwar lost one of its players once before. Guitarist Cory Smoot known as Flattus Maximus passed away in 2011. David will be missed but listen closely during the next heavy rainstorm. That might not be thunder you hear playing in the sky.


9
Front Page News / Not for the Faint of Heart
« on: March 22, 2014, 07:01:47 PM »
Not for the Faint of Heart





Combat Sombo! (SAMozashchita Bez Oruzhiya). You want to make darn sure you don’t offend anyone, male or female, who is even slightly skilled in this sport. Combat Sombo is aggressive and its purpose is to prepare people to survive in any situation needing self defence. Originally called Sambo and developed by the Russian Military as a means of self defence without a weapon, Sombo was recognised as a new martial art in 1938. It combines the fighting techniques of many different countries and cultures. Sombo is now considered one of the four main forms of amateur wrestling along with Greco-Roman wrestling, Freestyle wrestling and Judo.

Running With Scissors is pleased to say we have a highly skilled and award winning master of the art as one of our friends. Could it be possible that the Dude may have taken lessons from him? RWS first sponsored John C. S. Lehmann back in October 2009. We featured Gentleman John in our March 6, 2013 front page when he was getting ready to compete in the Scottish Games to raise money in support of the Wounded Warrior Project.

Since that time John has gone on to make quite a name for himself. He is skilled in Sombo and Muay Thai Boxing where he is a certified trainer and coach and has a Black Belt in Combat Sombo and Jujitsu. So far this year, John has been inducted into 3 Halls of Fame, once as Ambassador of Combat Sombo for America, twice as Founder of the Year. John is also Stickfightingworld’s Super Heavyweight Champion. Let’s just say it wouldn’t be a wise move to get this guy mad at you.

On March 29th of this year*. Gentleman John will be going to the Martial Arts Expo at the Chelsea Hotel in Atlantic City. He will be demonstrating Combat Sombo and Nvie Nutrition. Most importantly of all, he will be representing Running With Scissors. It sounds like it’s going to be a real blast for anyone into or even thinking of getting into that sort of lifestyle. There is going to be so much going on it’s pretty certain there will be something interesting for everyone no matter what. Let’s show Gentleman John our support. Don’t forget to mention our name when you show up for your demonstration but take our advice... make sure he does that demonstration on someone else!!

*2014 from those of you in the future reading the archives and unable to see the post date of this article.

10
Front Page News / St. Patrick's Day Update
« on: March 17, 2014, 09:17:15 AM »
St. Patrick's Day Update

It's St. Patrick's Day, so that means it's time to continue our new tradition* of adding holiday themed updates to POSTAL 2. This will only be live for today and tomorrow so go get your wishes granted in POSTAL 2 while you still can. Your wishes really can come true (in POSTAL 2)! Hey that sort of rhymed


For those of you that have no idea what St. Patrick's Day is, well that's fine too. The idea is to go enjoy searching for a pot of gold while shooting at cash laden, little people dressed in green. Maybe you could use this update to help your entry in our video contest?

*May not actually be a tradition.

11
Front Page News / Win an Ultimate Fan Prize Pack - Video Contest!
« on: March 15, 2014, 04:59:13 PM »
Win an Ultimate Fan Prize Pack - Video Contest!




As many of you are aware, our Tumblr recently got a facelift. We needed assistance to keep it updated and tried asking nicely for your help. For a while that sort of worked but we knew we could do better for you and we have come up with a much better way to keep our Tumblr updated. Bribery! A regular everyday Contest! Nope… This isn’t just another chance to win some POSTAL 1 and 2 keys because most of you reading this probably already have your keys. This contest is the biggest, hugest, bestest contest we have run since… maybe ever. The Grand Prize consists of one of our very own RWS T-shirts (Winner's choice of style, color, and size from our store), a fabulous chick magnet Krotchy Doll, a decorative metal RWS sign to really class up your room, a copy of the classic Fudge Pack and POSTAL: The Movie [winner’s choice of DVD or Blu-ray.] This is like the Ultimate Fan Pack! Oh and before we totally forget to mention, to top it all off and add icing to the cake, one of these prizes might even be autographed… how cool is that?

So what do you have to do win this Ultimate Grand Prize Fan Pack? Just be creative! We want you to make fan videos related to the POSTAL Zeitgeist. The Grand Prize Winner will be the most amusing / original /artistic video we have ever seen. Not good with video creation and editing? Don’t worry, you can still win something. The best drawing, artwork, comic, story, poem, cos-play, RWS swag hoard or anything else you can come up with that is related to POSTAL will be entered to win a t-shirt, a copy of the Fudge Pack and the Movie too!
It gets better, depending on how many entries we get, we might even toss in a few runners up prizes consisting of the Fudge Pack and the Movie. So there are plenty of chances to win. The more people that enter the more prizes we will give away so spread the word. Sure you are making little more competition for yourself, but you are also increasing the odds that we will add more prizes. Spam this post everywhere!

Additionally, all the great fan works will get featured on our Tumblr too! The best ones may even win a spot as a feature item/story on our front page in the Fan Spotlight! Impress your friends by having your submission front and center on our homepage or Tumblr. They will envy you and kick themselves for not entering the contest themselves.

Now for some Rules!

  • The video can use gameplay footage or any other footage within the POSTAL Zeitgeist. Basically this means if you don’t want to use gameplay footage, you can make your own footage however you want. Want to make the ultimate Lego POSTAL video? Go for it! Want to do something with stop motion Claymation? Awesome! Want to make an animated feature? If you have the time, go for it! Want to get together with your friends and make your own POSTAL movie? Do it, but you probably shouldn’t mention the prize or they will want their share! Have a completely unique idea for making a video? Do it! No video style is excluded…except Porn and don’t go out and do illegal things such as shoot up your city, not even that really annoying guy everyone hates because that guy might be one of us!
  • The video must be at least a minute in length (and no that doesn’t mean hold the title screen or “The End” screen up for 59 seconds!) There is no maximum length so there are no restrictions on your creativity!
  • While we appreciate all the fan works you have done in the past and welcome you to post them, only new submissions will be entered in to the contest.
  • Don’t steal other people’s work and claim it as your own. That’s just not cool!
  • Post your entries in to the comments section below. Aiming for a specific category? Put that in your comment too. Videos should be hosted on Youtube, pictures should be hosted somewhere that won’t just delete them after a few days. If you want to submit something but don’t want to post it in the comments, Personal Message it to RWS by clicking the little chat bubble icon on the left side of this post. Since we don't want to stifle your creativity, you can enter more than once.
  • Do you think someone else’s submission is really awesome? Say so in the comments too!
  • The Rules may be adjusted based on fan response to the contest.
  • Contest ends April 30th, 2014.
  • The contest is void where prohibited, sorry about that!
Check out some of these classic examples:

By: sven swers

By: John Blund

By: Annapostal666

By: Anita Roszuk

By: Snowgoyless

By: Chris Holm

Think you can do better than these fine people did? Prove it!

Thank you all for your continued support. We have enjoyed seeing all of your efforts to date and we really look forward to seeing all the stupid stupendous submissions for this contest. Good Luck!

12
Front Page News / Artist Spotlight: Alisa Bogodarova
« on: March 11, 2014, 09:27:06 PM »
Artist Spotlight: Alisa Bogodarova




Running With Scissors would like to re-introduce and welcome another fresh new face to our rapidly growing Postal family. Alisa Bogodarova is a talented young lady hailing originally from Moscow, Russia. She first joined Running With Scissors team for a short time as a Design and Marketing Intern back in 2011. This chestnut haired beauty fills her time with creative writing, painting works of fine art, giving art lessons, illustrating and modeling. One look at her biceps and six pack will tip you off that she also spends a lot of time at the gym. Alisa actually claims her other favourite art medium to work with is her own body. With such a sculptured look, it is a medium she has expertly prepared and exquisitely carved out for herself. Bodybuilding is obviously a full time occupation with Alisa to produce such constructive and highly appreciated results. It takes a lot of dedication to keep physically fit with so much going on in a person's life. You can see a couple of examples of her work below!


Alisa came to USA at age 9. With studios in each city, she now divides her time living and working both in Chicago, Illinois and Moscow. Not only vivacious but clearly a kind hearted person, Alisa volunteers in her spare time with Sunrise Senior Living doing elder care. She also volunteers with Chicago Tabernacle for disaster and humanitarian relief by assisting the homeless.

Alisa’s artwork is both colourful and spectacular. It leaves little doubt that its creator has a poured a great deal of thought and imagination into each piece. Individual and corporate clients are invited to commission or lease her art. She also exhibits and sells fine and digital art. Alisa’s mantra is “Art is not a field of study, nor a hobby, nor a job, It is life.” We know Alisa has what it takes to bring a lot of excitement to whatever she tackles and we look forward to hearing much more from Alisa in the possibly very near future.



13
Front Page News / Next Indie Spotlight: Next Car Game
« on: March 06, 2014, 06:41:39 PM »
Next Indie Spotlight: Next Car Game




As you know we here at Running With Scissors are big fans of Stainless Game's Carmageddon. We are excited by the news that it will be coming out in to Steam Early Access in approximately a months time. It looks like it's going to be a real smash. Being huge fans of Carmageddon leads us to another Indie Developer by the name of Bugbear Entertainment. They are working on their next car game called oddly enough Next Car Game. Right now it is available in Early Access and comes with a currently exclusive bonus area called the Sneak Peak for all the Early Access supporters. 

Next Car Game breaks out of the standard car game mold by having over the top soft body damage physics. It makes it a total laugh riot to see just how smashed your car can get and still manage to keep going. Down to one wheel in a cube? Go for it, maybe you can still win. Pounded, twisted, accordioned or shredded so bad its hard to tell front from the back, with luck you can still limp along. Just to be downright nasty since now you probably have no chance of winning, you can at least ram other cars to stop them from winning. You just have to be careful you don't get wiped out yourself by flying tires or slammed or squashed by other vehicles. The speed the vehicles travel really launches them high when they get hit and it is fun just to watch them sailing and spinning through the air then coming down with a spectacular crash. Another thing it does quite well is addressing something that has always bothered me about car games. In most games, smashing a ton of metal in to a concrete divider tends to do a lot of damage to the car, but usually the divider doesn't even have a scratch on it once your car is scraped off it. In Next Car Game the environment can be damaged which can actually be a lot of fun to do even though you know you are kind of messing over your chances of winning the race. There is nothing quite as satisfying as knocking a fellow racer into a sign that says "Screw 'em." There is more than just races on various surfaces and locations though, there is also the demolition derby mode. The demolition derby basically pits you to a no-holds-barred free for all where you attempt to destroy all of your competition before they can do the very same to you. I do have a slight complaint here but I think I can counter that with a compliment as well. I was in rather good shape and the counter said there was only one car other than my own left. I scanned around the ring looking for it but I could only see flaming scraps and debris around. I couldn't find another operational car. After spending at least 10 minutes searching for it I decided I would start ramming the healthier looking ones to see if it was still alive so I could finish it off and win. Eventually I wrecked myself so I have no idea if it was just a bug or one of the NPC drivers was playing possum. These kinds of things have to be expected in a Pre-Alpha Early Access Game so I am sure Bugbear will address this before the final game is released. Now I don't like to close a paragraph on a negative note (unless it is funny) so I will have to say this. Even though it is still pre-alpha and the AI may still be a little wonky and seemingly unable to reset itself if it gets stuck (which may or may not actually be just realism) the AI doesn't seem to favor beating on you versus another AI controlled car. A lot of games I played with bots seem to be geared towards killing the player first before targeting other AI to the point it gives up golden targets of opportunity just to hunt down the player. In Next Car Game the AI actually doesn't seem to have this bias and seems to be just as likely to target another AI car to smash in to as it is to targeting the player. I think this ads a bit to the game and makes it a lot less frustrating and even more playable.

Right now it is a pretty functional racer game that lets you have the satisfaction of destroying your opponents rather than winning the race fairly. There isn't a lot of variety in what you can do or what kind of actions you can take while playing the game yet though. Basically there are a handful of races you can play forwards or backwards and the demolition derby. So far there is only a couple of cars to select from, one of which has its engine in the rear so tends to be a rather good choice in the demolition derby. All that will be fixed in time of course, but until then, there is actually a much more entertaining thing to do.

The Sneak Peak. It's really quite fun and is the part of the game I must have enjoyed playing the most without even realizing it. Once I had a really good feeling for the game and decided it was time to work on this post I took a casual look at the hours played on Steam. Turns out I spent twice as much time playing in the Sneak peak than I did in the actual game! It's basically a playground where almost all the toys will destroy your car. Use your car to play basketball by driving up a ramp? Okay why not! Sure the inside of the hoop is a grinder that trashes your car, but just making the basket is fun. Fan of the Price is Right? Play PLINKO with your car. Watch out though as you will be leaving all kinds of parts behind at every peg you hit.  Like to recreate Hollywood movies? Jump you car through a plane's turbine engine! Or just get silly and play chicken with the hammer or spider. Hint... this isn't your ordinary dusty corner spider! So very much to do! So many ways to be trashed. It might not sound like much, but it is ridiculously fun. It's not quite clear if this is exclusive to the Early Access owners or if it will be open to all after the release so I would definitely pick it up now just to be safe. Hopefully an editor will be available so we can make our own playgrounds.

Check out this awesome preview of the Sneak Peak Playground!


Quote from: Store Page
About the Game
Next Car Game is a new demolition derby themed racing game with soft-body damage modeling, sophisticated driving dynamics and in-depth vehicle upgrading, featuring both demolition derbies and more traditional track races. It’s all about fun, breakneck racing and over-the-top crashes.

Expect epic crashes and tight, neck-to-neck fights over the finish line on run-down racing tracks. Expect proper demolition derbies. Expect brand new ways for metal to bend and the signature once-in-the-lifetime moments that can be achieved only with true-to-life physics simulation.

It’s a motorsport, but not just any motorsport. It’s a motorsport with attitude.

Unique Racing Experience
First and foremost, we’re building a FUN racing game with PERSONALITY. It’s all about the stuff that really matters: varied tracks, cool cars, and the defining once-in-the-lifetime moments that can be achieved only with true-to-life physics simulation. If you’re familiar with our previous games, you already know what we’re aiming at: exhilarating racing action with sophisticated physics and damage modeling, only this time we’re upping the ante on almost every front. This is the game we envisioned way back in the early 2000s, only re-imagined for today’s technology and gaming standards.

Awesome Cars
The cars are old, cheap, banged up, patched together, rusty… just awesome! In short, our cars ooze with STYLE. You won’t find anything like them in other racing games. We’ve got variety, as well: everyone loves the old American heavy-hitters from the muscle car era, but we’re not neglecting the fun little European and Asian cars from the long-gone decades either. The best part is that you’ll be taking them apart and building them back up again in your garage; the career is as much about your garage and your project cars as it is about racing.

Exciting Engine
Our in-house ROMU engine is a hell-bent beast that's precision-engineered for high-speed, breakneck racing. We have also already implemented fully deformable soft body car damage, meaning that the cars will react to damage in a very tangible, convincing way. While we're focused on action, motorsport authenticity is not forgotten, either. To that end our engine is simulating vehicle dynamics in a very sophisticated fashion. Rolling resistances, casters and slip angles are definitely not ancient Greek to us, and you as the player will be the one benefiting from our expertise.

EARLY ACCESS FEATURES
The first Early Access release contains two playable cars and three tracks, showcasing both white-knuckle track racing and explosive demolition derby action with 24 cars that will give you taste of things to come. During the coming months we’re going to give the game a lot of polish as well as implement many new exciting features, and all Early Access supporters have a unique opportunity to get involved in the development of the title!

We’ve also giving a playable Technology Sneak Peek 2.0 to all our Early Access supporters. The sneak peek features a playground that we use internally to test various features various like car damage and environment destruction. Version 2.0 includes new destructive machinery, more dynamic stuff to blow up, spectacular stunts and an awesome physics cannon that we use to play with our physics engine. With the physics cannon you too will now have a chance to cause mayhem to heart’s content by launching missiles, throwing stuff around and destroying the environment as well as the cars!

  • A playable Technology Sneak Peek 2.0. Have fun in the physics playground!
  • Three cars, American Muscle, European Hatchback and American Sedan, each with unique handling traits.
  • Three race tracks including Figure 8 and one derby stadium, both tarmac and gravel surfaces.
  • Race and derby game modes with up to (!) 24 cars, all with spectacular dynamic damage.
  • Soft-body car damage physics system that doesn't need a super computer.
  • Dynamic content that reacts realistically – fences and billboards break down, tires fly around.
  • Different types of engines, transmission and other upgrade parts to test the effect of upgrades.
  • Player garage.
UPCOMING FEATURES
Next Car Game is currently in early Pre-Alpha stage, and the Early Access version is going to serve as a basis on which we will continue building the game based on your feedback on what works and what doesn't. Throughout the Early Access phase we're going to gradually add more content and new features to the game, with some of the most important key features planned being:

  • Improved car damage and handling.
  • More cars, each with different stylings and performance.
  • More race tracks and derby stadiums with varying surfaces.
  • More dynamic content on the tracks.
  • Highly configurable multiplayer with a variety of modes.
  • Extensive player garage and car upgrading system.
  • In-game classifieds to buy and sell cars and parts.
  • Streamlined and polished user interface.
  • Improved graphics quality and performance.

We currently estimate that the title should reach a feature-complete state in 2014, with all key features implemented. Please note that all features mentioned here may be altered or removed during the development of the title if deemed necessary.


In the very least, why don't you go check out the demo today!

14
Front Page News / Looking for a hit of Adrenaline?
« on: March 03, 2014, 04:11:34 PM »
Looking for a hit of Adrenaline?




Lately POSTAL 2 has been getting a lot of attention what with the recent massive updates and what have you, but we need to remember POSTAL's roots. It's time for POSTAL 1 to get some love. For the next 28 days minus however many days late you are reading this post, you can get POSTAL 1 in Bundle Star's Adrenaline Bundle. Sure POSTAL 1 has been on sale on Steam before and it was pretty much dirt cheap at those times, but some of you were still holding out for a better deal. Well now's your chance! POSTAL 1 and a bunch of inferior titles other awesome games are available bundled together for the low low price of $4.99. When you do the math that makes POSTAL 1 like 42 American cents. What else can you get for 42 cents these days anyway? Yeah....I can't think of anything either. Even those funny tasting chocolate bars from Dollar Stores that occasionally contain crunchy insect parts cost more than that.

For your $4.99 you get:

POSTAL 1 on Steam (Linux/Mac/Windows).... if that isn't enough to make you buy it you also get for Steam:
Ring Runner: Flight of the Sages
Etherlords II
Master Reboot
Expeditions: Conquistador
Rock of Ages
Gun Monkeys
Heli Heroes
Monday Night Combat
Axis Game Factory
Bang Bang Racing
Kaptain Brawe: A Brawe New World

For those of you who ran out of fingers, there are 11 games in this bundle and a tool to help you in the creation of your own games. That's 12 things for only $4.99. Coincidentally, POSTAL 1 on it's own is $4.99 so it is like buy POSTAL 1 and get 11 other things free with it. That's better than a Buy 1 Get 1 Free sale any day! Get it now. It's unlikely you will get a chance like this again any time soon.

EDIT: For the next few days POSTAL 2 is on sale for only $2.49! Get both today!

15
Front Page News / POSTAL Babe of the Month: Amber
« on: March 01, 2014, 08:23:16 AM »
POSTAL Babe of the Month: Amber




Whoohooo!!!  Hang on to your hats before you get a glimpse of our latest!!! Have we got a babe for you this month! Coming or going, no matter how you look at her, March’s Babe, Amber Grayson Vayle is a complete knockout. There is certainly a lot of bounce in this girls step. Her sassy sweet face has a smile that would light up a room and just watching her walk away would set a guys heart racing. Take a look at Ambers amazing ink work. Don’t your fingers just itch to touch and trace all of those sleekly sensuous and artistically done lines? This little lady is brilliant as well as beautiful. With her twinkling bright eyes Amber is a delight to every one of our senses plus some.

This is a girl you just don’t want to miss. Check out the rest of Ambers great looks in our Postal Babes pages. It’s pretty much guaranteed you will enjoy the show. Don’t forget to read her comment on Krotchy in her interview. We told you before what chick magnets Krotchy dolls are. We can bet you are going to want to start ordering your very own Krotchy dolls by the crate now.

Anyway enough prattling on. It's time for the bit everyone has been waiting for: The Interview! And it is a doozy this time.

RWS: Question One: Okay, Amber...why are you here?

Amber: Well, I am here because you so graciously invited me to do an expose on my company. It just happens I don't mind exposing a little bit more. But mostly I was hoping I'd get a free Krotchy doll.

Question Two: Okay, we can probably get you Krotchy, but seriously take a moment to tell us about your company.

I have companies. That's more than one. A girl like me isn’t satisfied without a group. For some time now, I've hosted a radio show called The Naughty Slot. We talk about sex and sexuality and it's been wonderful. Sometimes it's educational,sometimes it's informative, and sometimes it's just nasty. But I have a great and loyal following there. And one of the things that happens when you have a show like that is that people who are drawn to sexual subjects end up listening and building relationships.Those relationships became the basis of my other projects.

Question Three: How did you get into audiobooks?

I have a sexy voice that makes girls squirm and men beat their chests. I love literature and I wanted to explore it through other media. So, after a number of erotica authors started interacting with me, I decided I ought to get started on a dream that I'd had for a very long time. Lyrical Lip Service was born. Thankfully, I have had a relationship with a publisher who also provided content to other publishers, so I didn't have to work hard to find people willing to partner with us to get books produced. They published a few erotica stories of mine and were so supportive that I knew they'd be a perfect partner. She was a contradiction in so many ways. She could write extraordinarily romantic pieces and then send me something about eleven men at a convention in a rough gangbang with a virgin. We are blessed to produce it all. Plus, I loved her attitude toward sex and toward freedom of expression. On her blog she was just as likely to review an erotica story about a wild college dorm room orgy as she was to write a blistering commentary about when Pussy Riot was imprisoned.

We all talk about liberation but the truth is it's hard to find people who live it fully. When you do find them, you hold on to them and keep them close. Here she was, this very sexualized woman--and it takes a lot for me to call a woman sexualized given how overwhelmingly sexy my life is--but she was also very intelligent. She's been married to the same man for about twenty-five years and has a whole truckload of kids. And I kept thinking that people like her were the people I wanted to work with, and when I told her my plan I got several hundred titles to record that very day. Lyrical Lip Service is the producer of audio of erotica found on Audible.com. We do a broad range of erotica and fetish short stories and full length books. So I’m proud to say LLS has grown to the largest producer on the Internet, we offer up anything one might find to tickle their fancy, among other things.


Question Four: Talk more about empowering women. Most people wouldn't think of gangbang stories as empowering.

Maybe, but Joe Lieberman once said that your video game (Along with Marilyn Manson and Calvin Klein, oddly enough) was the worst thing in American society. Most people want to pigeonhole everyone else. It's easier to feel comfortable when everyone fits in a nice little package. They smile indulgently when we read a Harlequin romance book and they raise an eyebrow and shake their head a bit but are still indulgent when we read something a little racier. As long as they can dismiss it as silly womanliness everything is fine.Our erotica audiobooks are all about the freedom to explore your sexuality. This may shock some of my fans but if I were suddenly confronted by nine cocks at a party, each of them with their own Krotchy hanging down there, I wouldn't do what a woman in an erotica story would do. I'd probably run screaming from the room.

That doesn't mean it isn't entertaining and stimulating to read about it. That doesn't mean that my mind won't sometimes head that direction. People fantasize about all sorts of things. When children pretend they’re airline pilots or cowboys and cowgirls we call it imagination. When a man does it in regards to sex we call it being male. When a woman fantasizes we call it offensive and degrading.

Well, fuck no. I don't buy into that

I have twelve vocal talent professionals working for me. Eight of them are women. All but three had absolutely no experience before we started. Several are stay-at-home moms who wouldn't easily be able to do anything for money otherwise.

Erotica, even the most extreme erotica, allows a woman to safely explore sexual fantasies without any of the risk. And as far as I'm concerned, it takes back the power denied us for so long, the power to be both female and sexual. It says “I'm a woman but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy sex”. It doesn't mean I can't want sex. My genitalia isn't there just to please someone else. So much modern feminism wants us to be bitchy, prudish, and unconcerned with sex or love. They would value me as the woman business owner and curse my talent for being stay-at-home mothers. And of course, since we glorify sex, they’d curse us for that as well.

So it's exciting to me because I not only get to be a small businesswoman, and I not only get to be successful at it--all the things we modern women are supposed to do--but I get to do it with a primary focus on a subject denied women for far too long.

Question Five: So Tell Us about Your Other Projects

You do realize most of the things you're calling questions are really commands, or for the literary people out there, imperative sentences, right?

No matter. I created Abyss Audiobooks in response to a crackdown of major retailers on certain types of erotica. While a great many of the more extreme things don't turn me on at all and while I would never participate in something that involved depiction of sex with minors, I was really taken aback by some of the things that caused controversy. Like for example, books were pulled because of the words "barely legal" in the subtitles. Look, the point with barely legal is that the girls involved ARE legal It's something a lot of women search for, especially older women who didn't necessarily go to college in the midst of the kind of sexualized environments we have today.

It's fantasy.

The retailers also hated the word "force." We can understand reactions against violence and such but really, people have to come to terms with the fact that just about every survey done about women's favorite sexual fantasies puts non-consent at the top of the list. It’s been at the top since the surveys were first done. What got me, though, was that books were pulled when force wasn't even in relation to the sex. A sentence like "Her financial situation forced her to make a choice" in the description would lead to a book being pulled from the sites. It was just crazy. Pure reactionary stupidity, if you ask me.

It all started because of the sites’ poor technology, too. Someone would search for an innocuous term and children's books would show up next to erotica. I refuse to believe search engine technology can't tell the difference between Horton Hears a Who and Whores from Horton Town. So we filled a need with Abyss, and will be open for self-publishing uploads shortly. So when someone is looking for some reading that is perhaps a little more edgy in terms of erotica and sexual nature, my new company / website Abyss is the place to find it. Like Lyrical Lip Service production, it is growing quickly in our offerings and will continue to do so over.

There's a reason it will be self-publishing. I don't want to be the arbiter of what's acceptable. I wanted to create a site where the boundaries were considerably wider. I'm not saying we won't come across some titles at some point we won't want on our site but for right now, it's intended to give authors who write horrific and extreme erotica or other books a venue. Interestingly, it looks like we're going to have a hell of a lot of erotica ebooks on Abyss that the other sites would have no problem with at all.

Question Six: Okay, Amber. You're a beacon to all women who want to succeed, a champion of free expression, and a friend to independent artists. When you put all that together with your ass, you're pretty much the perfect woman. And I have the pictures to prove it now. Tell me about this awesome photo shoot.

Well, it was inspired by Postal, believe it or not. I was thinking about Postal Dude driving around causing mayhem and wondered what it would be like if I were there in the game in a sexy shoot and he came by and defended me from all of the crazy, mentally disturbed citizens.

Wow! Really?

Of course not! I'm a girl, not a teenage boy. What really happened is that a very good friend of mine, the brilliant Brian D. Byers, wanted to do a photo shoot and I couldn't imagine anything better. It was so damned cold I almost froze my ass--yes, the ass you seem to admire so much--off. The title of the shoot was "Be Brave", though, so I powered through it.

It was a very exciting and strangely empowering thing to do. There was no makeup and no hairdresser. Brian wasn't making me into someone. I had to be me, and I had to be comfortable with who I was. Let me tell you something...that's bravery. A woman is exposed for the world to see and she doesn't get to dress herself up. I was completely, utterly, naked.

(That's a metaphor, pal. I wasn't actually nude.)

But that's part of what we believe. We want women to stand strongly, to feel good about themselves, to view their bodies as beautiful no matter how they look. To realize that their bodies don't define them and aren't something they should fear. They ought not to feel shame about it. We're women and we're just as much sexual beings as we are emotional beings and intellectual beings. It ism time to stop feeling ashamed about that. And that's why I did the photo shoot. I can't tell my employees, my friends, and the world that we don't have to be ashamed and then let the trap suck me in,right? By the way an author has found some inspiration in that photoshoot and may very well be the impetus for a full length book, encompassing all sort of inspired naughtiness. Of course, you’ll find it on Abyss.

Besides, we wanted a sexy stock photo company, and I knew right away that I had to be the first model. Look, I'm a businesswoman. I'm in this to make money,sure. But I also believe the stuff I say. I want women empowered, and it's wrong of me to tell others to stretch themselves if I won't. So that's that.

Well there you have it. Thanks, Amber, for taking the time. Do you really want a Krotchy doll?

If you don't give me one, I might have to hijack a truck full. I hear they're selling well on eBay.

See what we mean? She is threatening us to make sure she gets her Krotchy Doll!  That just proves how much chicks love them and will do just about anything to get one! Don't miss out guys. Get yours today!

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